Confessions of a Wanker: Part Four(play)

“When a boyfriend and I were long-distance, I used to ask him to send me the porn he liked to watch. I liked to see what he was getting off to because I found it a turn-on to know what he was watching. I wanted us to get involved with Beducated, too, when I returned to the country. However, the relationship didn’t last. I’d take a similar approach with future partners, though, if they were up for it.”

Sharing is caring. This includes porn search histories

^{Keep the Noise Down!}

“This is major embarrassing! I was home from uni and thought I had the house to myself. So, I put on some porn and got my 11-inch friend out for some fun. I was close to finishing and had not been quiet when there was a knock on the door… My mum was telling me to keep the noise down. I nearly died!”

Always check that you’re actually alone before getting freaky.

“I don’t know how it happened… but somehow cut my clit on my vibrator.”

This is why you don’t buy cheap toys! Buy quality from Bondara

“I love the idea of masturbating on camera, squirting and being forced to lick it up from the floor.”

I’m not sure this is what a thirst tweet means…

“I had to pretend to be sick and stay in my room ’cause I had a sex toy inside me. My roommate came home early… I don’t think she brought it!”

Those were moans of pain… because you were sick, right?

“I used to wank with a 2L bottle of Fanta.”

I’d like to this this was a mid-wank refreshment, but something tells me it wasn’t

“Got caught by my ex’s mum as I was blowing my load in the bathroom. Later on, I overheard her and my ex-girlfriend talking about my size.”

What’s that saying about a man’s 12 inches?

“I was having a cheeky wank, and it was amazing! But, right as I had almost cum… My toy died just before I hit the big O.”

It’s happened to all of us at some point… Never forget to charge your vibrator!