Sexual Guilty Pleasures—And Why They Need to Stop

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We’ve all heard the term “guilty pleasure,” like eating a dozen Krispy Cream donuts in one sitting, binge-watching a show everyone hates, or reading a cheesy romance novel you can only find in a 25-cent bin at a thrift store.

But what about sexual guilty pleasures? What about all those “slutty” secrets that Cosmo magazine keeps churning out?

Let’s take a look at what people classify as a dirty guilty pleasure and then discuss why this all needs to stop immediately.

Sexual Guilty Pleasures — It Started on Reddit

When it comes to naked honesty, there’s no better place than the massive conversations on Reddit.

Not surprisingly, there were quite a few threads on our day’s panel discussion. But what was surprising was how many so-called secrets people were spilling everywhere.

They’re… not that crazy — at least not by Internet standards. Here’s the general summary…

• Lots of Foot worshipall from men. They depict a wide variety of female feet – from clean to dirty, from well-kept to troll-like.
• a lot of UnderwearBut not many details have been revealed, other than he likes to stuff a pair in his mouth as a gag, or secretly sniff them while his wife is in the shower.
• Various insultsMost of them use derogatory words like “bitch”. Most of them are confessions from women.
• Sex in public placesMen mostly admit this, they like to talk about things where they can be easily caught.
• Hentai or other types of cartoon pornography – some furry stuff and lots of cross-cartoon pairings, like Scooby-Doo and Brian from Family Guy.
• Countless body movements. Choking, slapping, spanking, subduing, etc.
• Female dominance. Some people mentioned specific fantasies, such as being sprayed or nailed. Some even mentioned some men, such as being kidnapped and forced to have sex with women.
• Girl with a cock – but with very clear “disclaimers” that these people are not gay.
• Some of them revolve around feces or fart.
• Mentioned many times Swallowing cum.
• Trap porn or hentai – Believe it or not, I hadn’t heard of this before. It turns out it’s about a boy who looks so much like a girl that another boy is “trapped” in a sexual attraction. I’ve seen comics like this, but this one was new to me.
• Finally, I found something that didn’t look so ordinary. – Having your penis bitten during oral sex, being kicked hard in the balls, being the “feeder”, and so on.
• besides Some jokes Like, “As someone with Catholic parents, this is all my guilty pleasure.”

However, more than once the confessions left me confused. Mainly because I really don’t understand why people would consider these behaviors to be something to be shy, embarrassed, or ashamed of.

One woman said she felt bad about using a vibrator to quickly orgasm while her partner was out running errands. She detailed how she occasionally needed to orgasm and then get on with her day. But she always felt bad for not involving her boyfriend.

The panty-sniffing husband I mentioned earlier also said that he would never tell his wife that he masturbated after smelling her panties.

After doing all this, I continued to explore Quora and some other websites.

what is the problem?

Maybe I’ve just been working in the sex toy industry for years and have become desensitized to it. Maybe it’s because I’m a staunch defender of the “sex is healthy” and “fantasies are normal” mentality. But a lot of what people are describing is actually pretty common. They just think they’re in the minority and therefore totally weird.

Of course, the smart thing to do is not to tell your insecure, bland partner that you masturbate to fantasies about all of her sexy friends and family. But the sheer magnitude of the shame is incredible. If this little example reflects a complete lack of communication between partners about sex, well, I don’t know. It’s just terrible.

This behavior must stop immediately.

Why?

When simple fetishes (and if you haven’t figured it out, I mean legal fetishes) are vilified, people keep quiet about them. The information they absorb can lead to more extreme behavior.

For example, let’s say someone enjoys dominating others, and they watch a lot of porn about dominating others. These videos don’t show the communication, negotiation, and safety measures beforehand. They don’t see the aftercare, like two actors hugging or giggling about the experience.

Porn is fine as long as people understand the difference between porn and real-life sex, but if people are embarrassed to talk about it and the internet is full of misinformation, where does that understanding come from?

solution

This is where I get into a complete internal conflict.

On the one hand, if someone uses language like “dirty” and “guilty pleasure” in a lighthearted way, then what’s the harm in using that language?

Then my brain went the other way and insisted that for the mindset to change, the language should change as well. What made it even more confusing was that I remembered that it was easy to say “we need to change” but it was an uphill battle to fight decades of societal “norms”, religious views, and a general lack of education about our own bodies.

It’s at this point that I need a stiff drink while trying not to fall into a world-weary state of mind.

A lot of things people are ashamed to talk about are actually good. There’s nothing to hide, and nothing to put in a cognitive browser – especially if there’s education behind it.

What do you think? Should this “guilty pleasure” narrative change? Share your thoughts in the comments!