Whether you want to admit it or not, sex after a breakup, that is, ex sexAKA that “last” romp with your ex, is something you count among your best and worst moments. That, or you’re sitting here right now, wondering whether or not you should let it happen. Or both, right?
The cold, hard reality is this: you broke up and that means goodbye. But is it maybe okay to prefer a farewell in several parts-A series goodbyes forever, if you will, before finally calling it a day?
Let’s go, shall we?
Who in their right mind would have sex after a breakup?
Breakup sex is actually a relatively common occurrence among people of all ages, and even among people with good heads on their shoulders—you heard it here first.
For example, a study showed that 27% of people aged 17 to 24 had sex with an ex again within two years of their breakup. another study22% of married people who are separated from their spouse report having had sexual relations with their ex-partner in the last 4 months.
Twist of fate: breakup sex seems to have been initiated by men and women—and probably people of all sexes—as well as by the one who abandons and the one who is abandoned, both of whom are also to blame for the sordid spectacle of ex-sex. Say that five times faster.
Why do we do it? Really, why?
If you ask your best friend if post-breakup sex is a good idea, she’ll probably give you this look—you know what I mean. It depends on her own background, of course. But sometimes, despite the most practical (i.e., emotionless) intentions, post-breakup sex just happens. Whether your breakup happened seconds ago and your goodbye hug went south, or you broke up months ago but are just now getting your stuff over at her place, boom, it happens: Suddenly, you’re having the wildest, most emotional sex of your life.
In fact, people have sex after a breakup for many reasons, including, but not limited to:
– Try to maintain the relationship
– Not being sure how they feel about their ex
– Gravitating towards a known source of fantastic sex
– Excitement caused by anxiety
– To soothe pain and sorrow, fill the void
– HAS avoid having sex with a new or unknown person
– To conclude: to facilitate the transition to something else
It goes without saying that a person’s experience with sex after a breakup will vary depending on the reasons behind it. For example, a couple whose breakup is really mutual and friendly can find a beneficial conclusion in a final game of gallantry. But a dynamic in which one of the partners is emotionally manipulate the other one won’t go as well, naturally.
Do’s and Don’ts of Breakup Sex
Ultimately, if breakup sex is an inevitable event in the trajectory of your life, it helps to have a few rough and dirty rules to make it less awkward and less brutal When the proverbial dawn breaks, what do you mean?
Of the:
1. Manage expectations
Whatever you do, stay honest with your ex. Make it clear where you stand. communicatingwell, uh, clearly. You might say, “We may not be a good fit, but I’m still attracted to you and would like to share that part of our relationship again.” If they still want a deeper connection, you’ll probably want to end it. Also, be honest with yourself: Do you really feel grounded enough to casual sex with your ex, or are you hoping that post-sex cuddling will pave the way for breakfast in bed?
2. Remember that you are vulnerable
Fact: Your judgment is fragile after a serious breakup. In such circumstances, it’s easy to a) get hurt and b) be hurtful out of a sense of neediness or extra closure. In this hyper-emotional state, you’re incredibly vulnerable, yes, even if you feel “strong.” Try to be as self-centered and self-protective as much as possible, because once you get past the early days and you are In fact strong, you will look back and notice how off balance you felt.
3. Be careful
If you didn’t use a condom when you were together, but one or both of you may have slept with other people since then, you’re going to want to insist on using a condom now. contraceptive only will do it not fend off both unwanted children and unwanted infections. And no one wants those things, even on a good day. If your ex refuses to concludechoose to opt outand that the sex you almost had is a powerful reminder of why you keep moving forward.
4. Remember why it ended
It ended because there are certain feelings you know you never want to feel again. And that feeling may be mutual. You’ve learned a valuable set of lessons, but now it’s high time to move on. It’s important (and wise!) to take some time to reflect on why things didn’t work out before heading back to bed to join forces again.
Not to do :
1. Don’t do it if you can’t stand it.
Fact: Having sex with an ex if you haven’t moved on yet (but he has moved on from you) can be an emotional disaster and make healing much harder. So, if possible, think about how you’ll feel after having sex with your ex. Use your imagination.
2. Don’t overthink it
If you’ve decided that yes, sir, breakup sex is what the goddess ordered you to do, or it’s just some kind of arrivedresist the urge to move on the next day (and the day after that) ruminate, meditate, analyzeor feel guilty or weak. Let it go. Yeah, that East This is 100% the hardest part, but crucial nonetheless.
3. Don’t do it to save the relationship
Breakup sex is not, I repeat, it is not-a viable strategy to repair your relationship and get your ex back. I’m not saying it never happened, but using sex to change their minds is a recipe for hurt feelings and chaos and confusion. If you are truly meant to get back together, broaching the subject through conversation may be a better first step.
4. Don’t make it a habit
Rough sex after a breakup (or maybe two) is one thing, but if you have any say in the matter, don’t rely on your ex to fill a sexual and emotional void between relationships. Doing so will make it nearly impossible to move forward.
At the end of the day, get over That’s the big idea here. Don’t lose touch with this truth as you move forward into the next big chapter of your beautiful life.