But anal sex is not only “occurring”! If you are relying on something from porn, you will definitely be very disappointed (literally!). Don’t worry! With some basic logistical and psychological pointers, you will be anal champion right away!
Preparation for anal sex: so fresh and clean!
First, you need to be prepared. There are physical and psychological components. If you are a newbie (ER), you may need to accept the fact that you are interacting with the origin of waste. There is really no subtle way: shit happens, it’s not the end of the world, nor should it be. Moreover, there are many ways to try and test to enhance cleaning and hygiene. Let’s get started!
Relax when my friend Frankie goes to Hollywood! The sphincter consists of two core annular muscles, one more voluntarily controlled than the other. There are several ways to “warm these muscles”; I would at least recommend a warm shower or bathtub. Some people insist on anal flushing before anal matches, and indeed, the more you are focused on a mess, the more attractive the choice is.
Here are some basics about anal rinsing and cleaning before anal sex:
There are many ways to rinse, each with its own pros and cons. Some people are best suited to fill water with small “bulbs” (usually materials such as latex, plastic, or silicone) that can be inserted directly. One of the benefits of light bulbs is their versatility and portability. You may need warm water, which is neither too hot nor too cold. Once you fill the bulb with warm water, insert it and squeeze the base to shoot the water out. It is usually best to apply moderate pressure here when squeezing; you don’t want to shoot too hard or maybe it’s much more than expected. Squeeze your sphincter for a few seconds (probably 5-10) seconds to put the water in and release it. Repeat this process as needed or ideally until the water is cleared.
If the light bulb is not your jam, you can do a hose adaptation that can be connected to your shower or toilet. I personally would choose a toilet adaptation or some form of seat tub. Yes, they cost a little more than bulbs, but I think it’s “doing better” and working harder for you. Basically, the same cleaning process as the light bulb; again, be careful not to shoot water hard or too far away. To increase confidence, some people insert dildo or vibrator after hanging out to make sure they have been cleaned up completely.
Deeper diving
Summarize
Using a lot of lubricant (silicon-based foundation can be fun, but can dye the sheets and erode the silicone toys, so you may want to choose a water-based) and have fun! To read further (from a gay male perspective), check out Woody Miller’s “How to Like a Porn Star” or the easier hooking method (through the anal practice of kidnapping a dildo), check out Comedy Center’s hooking plot (“Knocking the Door”) (also circulating on Hulu on Hulu).
Consider meeting with a sex therapist in Plymouth, Minnesota
- Contact the Sexual Health Institute to set up your first date.
- Meet one of our skilled sex therapists for intake.
- Learn more about you and your partner for a more fulfilling (and fun) sex life.
Other Mental Health Services in Minnesota