Kinks share their wildest sex stories – and

These are some very unhappy endings.

While it’s important to enjoy exciting sex, trying to act out your sexual fantasies can sometimes go terribly wrong.

Shamed perverts recount their most embarrassing failed sexual experiments, including making whooping noises in the desert, bad food games and even trying to join the Mile High Club.

They detailed these counterproductive boudoir sessions in a post that sparked outrage across Reddit.

One of the men explained a disastrous incident in which they “had sex in the desert on their way home from Vegas at night.” “Creepy, crawling desert creatures don’t sleep at night,” rued the randy Reddit user, recalling how the meeting left them feeling bewildered.

Another horrible sex situation? A storage room filled with creepy crawlies.

“There was a closing time and if you missed it, you were stuck behind the gate for the night,” recalled one unlucky participant. “Then the people who lived there started rustling.”

Other popular locations for abuse include libraries (because of the cameras), beaches (because of the sand) and rooftops, according to the post.

“Roof shingles are not a ‘sexy’ pain,” one Reddit user admitted while detailing an injury they suffered during sex.

Food play may seem like a way to stimulate sexual desire, but some experience suggests it can be a physical disaster.

One kink fan says they discovered “the hard way” that putting one’s manhood in a glass of wine is not only unfulfilling but “really stings”.

A horny poster also said that for similar reasons, don’t try to sweeten the deal with honey as it will make a mess.

“You will damage every surface you touch,” they warn. “You’ll clean it like you clean glitter.”

In perhaps the most shameful failed sex story, one Reddit user claimed they went to a swingers party where everyone looked like they came from “the bus stop” and ended up with all their legs covered Covered in poop.

Another frequently mentioned fantasy was joining the mile-high club, and according to one poster he claimed that bathrooms were getting smaller and people “always noticed.”

Not to mention that having sex in heaven can get you into trouble.

“One time I spotted a couple in the back seat of a plane with their pants down,” Suzanne Bucknam, a flight attendant who works for an unknown airline, said in a recent revealing interview. “We made an emergency landing, escorted them off the plane and then got back in the air without them.”

In fact, while it’s not explicitly illegal to engage in this kind of activity on a plane, if passengers choose to participate, they risk violating public indecency and other laws.