Beware the crumbs of betrayal.
Evidence of a flirting partner isn’t always as obvious as a strange pair of knickers on the floor, says a well-informed sex expert.
British psychotherapist Bhavna Raithatha sounds the alarm about subtle signs that a soul mate may be having an affair – including erectile dysfunction, a sudden increase in libido, excessive use of mobile phones and shorter than usual fuses.
For example, contrary to popular belief, a cheating spouse doesn’t necessarily say no to nooky, according to Raithatha, who is endorsed by the British Association for Counseling and Psychotherapy.
One might assume that after ostensibly satisfying their physical desires, a criminal’s sexual desire would decrease.
Sometimes, however, they seek a relationship with their significant other more because an affair increases sexual desire to the point where they “become like Duracell bunnies,” the sex expert told the Daily Mail.
“Partners may temporarily feel guilty about it and therefore direct these intense sexual urges towards their current partner,” claims the extramarital sex detective. “But this may simply be a physical release to release tension. — rather than emotionally.”
Retata explains that many times, a scorned woman can tell if her spouse is cheating during sex because they tend to go on autopilot without any “eye contact.”
Conversely, as many experts point out, a spontaneous loss of interest in intimacy can also be a red flag—especially if a person previously had a great sex life.
“Especially for men, they may have some form of erectile dysfunction where they can’t get an erection because the emotion isn’t there,” explains the sex expert. “They will suddenly start making excuses not to have sex because they want to be loyal to their new friend.”
Another sign of infidelity? If a person’s lover is addicted to mobile phones.
Now, given our digitally saturated society, it might be hard to distinguish this from normal cell phone addiction, but Letata claims that unfaithful spouses “spend so much extra time on them that They don’t care about their partners.”
In fact, a lover might go from leaving their phone out all the time, to painstakingly hiding it or suddenly entering their password.
Professional “honey catcher” Madeleine Smith claims guilty parties often leave their phones face down while watching TV or dining out.
But be careful how you confront them, as this emotional distance can make cheaters angry quickly, according to Raithatha.
“I also have clients who challenge their partners in this area and they almost become aggressive,” she says. “When they start slamming doors or punching fists through drywall and become threatening, they’re trying to scare you into keeping you quiet.”
Then there’s romantic gaslighting, which Retta defines as projecting one’s own guilt onto a victim.
“Their affair was wrong, but they blame you,” she explains. “They’re putting you under a microscope.”
“They might say things like: ‘Oh, you smell nice, you dress nice, you eat better, why is that? Who is that for?” Raithatha added, adding that This kind of investigation is usually conducted in front of the guy’s friends.