Bad Sex Advice – 40 Pieces of Advice You Should Forget

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Here’s a collection of some of the worst sex advice you’ve ever seen. Get ready for some brain bleach.

1. Biting the clitoris

No! I mean, if you like the pain of BDSM, then of course you can take a bite. But in most cases, no!

2. Vaginas come in two shapes

Apparently, this one came from a sex toy seller who thought vagoos were either triangles or squares due to the shapes of the two products he was selling.

3. Masturbating with a popsicle

The idea is to pleasure yourself first, then invite him to get on your clothes or fuck you. This is a terrible idea for two reasons—first, the sugar can give you a yeast infection, and second, that kind of cold isn’t good for the sensitive skin inside your vagina. There are plenty of safe ways to engage in temperature play.

4. Pee inside her

Some people with a broken brain (more than one, in fact) think that the “chemicals” in urine kill sperm. Ugh.

5. Pull out the anal beads quickly and forcefully

you can use it Some speed, but never like pulling a lawnmower cord, or if the other person is not used to anal sex.

6. Hot water kills sperm

“Killing sperm” by immersing your testicles in warm water so you can have unprotected sex – besides the fact that this is obviously bullshit, don’t these people care about STIs?

7. Pull out only part of the way

I heard this was advice from a father to his son – if you pull it out two-thirds of the distance, the sperm won’t be able to reach its destination… the father said this to his offspring.

8. Add soda water

For the love of God, people—sugar in your vagina is bad. How many times do we have to say this? If your partner doesn’t like the taste of your vagina (and that’s OK, lots of ladies don’t like the taste of their penis), use a body-safe oral dam or flavored lube.

9. Don’t initiate sex

Some “old school” advice says that women should never initiate sex. Ugh!

10. Teeth + Penis = Happiness

No! It’s no different than biting a clitoris. Yes, there is penis and testicle torture. However, this is only for those who like it – it is not a universal assumption for every male. Don’t nibble unless he enthusiastically agrees.

11. Complete at the same time.

Some people think that if you orgasm simultaneously (during unprotected sex), you can’t get pregnant. That’s totally wrong.

12 Mint Fresh

Is Cosmo getting that desperate? Yes, peppermint will give you a lift – it’ll make you feel refreshed and alert. But some great foreplay will have the same effect. If you really want to do this because you both like the smell, buy some safe essential oils, mix it with a carrier oil, and dab it on like perfume or even like massage oil.

13. Always add a finger on top

P-spot stimulation (during or outside of penetrative/oral sex) able For some men, this can be a treat. But just like ladies, not everyone enjoys it. Ask before you start thrusting—and make sure you know what you’re doing during actual penetration.

No permission, no ass fucking

14. Positions during pregnancy

The whole “lie down to get pregnant, stand or jump to get the sperm ‘out'” process has been passed down to previous generations. Hint… it doesn’t work.

15. Sexual chemistry is not important

This is indeed important to many people – a few may be stuck in relationships where sexual attraction is not a priority. But please use this example as an example and think carefully about what you need in a relationship.

16. Add a donut to your blowjob

I thought the grapefruit video was weird enough (I was already a weirdo), but this viral tip goes into detail about eating a donut, running your partner’s penis through it, licking and eating it, and more.

17. Give him a friction burn

Remember when you were a kid and someone grabbed your arm and twisted your hand in the opposite direction? I think people of my generation called them Indian burns (I know it’s a racist), but why would you do that to someone’s penis? CBT maybebut other than that… ouch.

18. Let her hide her body

Turn off the lights, make her cover herself, cut holes in the sheets – all because a woman thinks her body is ugly. Hate the idea.

19. Outdoor sex is best

While you can have sex outdoors – it’s more like a quickie or oral sex, even in a tent. Not a full-on roll in the dirt. I mean, if you’re on your own private property and you’re not at risk for sunburn, poison ivy, or bug bites… maybe. I can personally speak to this (especially the bug bites).

20. Rhinestones around the nipples

Something about the glittering bullseye.

21. Pull like a bull

No… that’s not the way to masturbate – every man (just like every woman) has different preferences. Communication is key.

22. Give him a snack after dinner

This is not the 1940s. Even the magazine that published the article had to retract it and apologize.

23. Swear words everywhere

One of the funnier ones I’ve come across in a supermarket – “These melons are so ripe they make me want to rip your shirt off and smack your chest with a Jet Ski.” Hahahaha… No. Dirty talk can be very effective if it’s said at the right time and in the right place.

24. Play horror movies

I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw this – the idea is that screaming will mask your moans…haha. Not really horrible, but just stupid advice.

25. Darkness and Ice Cream

Feeding each other ice cream in bed in the pitch dark, licking up the drips and stains that get everywhere, not only will it stain your sheets, but the ice cream is too cold. However, there is a quirk called “spilling,” but it’s a completely different quirk – and it’s much easier to clean up.

Dirty and messy

26. Push the shaft seat into

No, because if you try to give him oral sex or masturbate you’re actually just shoving his penis back into his body. No. That would probably be more painful than anything.

27. Eat a big meal first

Question about physical exertion during long workouts. Should you eat healthy? Yes. Should you hydrate? Yes. Should you eat a buffet before bed? No, jumping around may cause vomiting.

28. Use hair dye

I had to stare at this for a while before I could comprehend it. One girl suggested dying your hair and having sex while it’s still wet. Honey, that tingling feeling all over your body is from chemicals! Besides the horrible stains, what about allergies to others? Imagine getting it in your mouth, eyes… or worse.

29. Double-wrap the condom

No! This will actually make them less effective.

30. Use a turkey dropper

“Flush the semen out of your vagina immediately after intercourse and you won’t get pregnant” – sigh. Another “trick” for couples to have an unexpected baby.

31. Girl on top = no children

If the turkey dropper didn’t work, do you really think this one will?!

32. Make Him Sneeze

Alas, there’s a rumor going around that putting pepper under his nose before he cums will make his orgasm stronger. First, it’s hard to time. Second, you’ll get sneeze all over you. Third, it doesn’t work!

33. Master his/her part

The reason I put this as general “bad advice” is because there are a lot of “tricks” you need to master to please your partner. You know what the real key is? Communication – talking about what you both like and don’t like, and mapping out a road map to their specific pleasure zones.

34. Play chest tennis

I won’t go into the long guides I’ve read, but the general idea is to swing his penis back and forth between your breasts…Are we really that desperate for new foreplay? Is this comparable to how men enjoy slapping their penis against a woman’s pussy (porn again)? I just don’t understand.

35. Use silicone lubricant for massage

No. Silicone has its uses (like in certain sex toys or during anal sex), but people don’t realize it’s hard to remove—and it can stain your sheets. Just use regular massage oil.

36. If he’s happy, he’s cheating

I also wrote an article about “Signs of cheating” — But the point is that one or two “flags” don’t necessarily mean anything in themselves. many The boxes on the list are all checked, indicating that you should have an open and honest discussion about what is going on.

Being happy or showering more doesn’t always mean someone is cheating

37. Pop Rock

I remember there was a rumor about this. For women it’s taboo (remember what I said about sugar?), and for men… I think it would be painful. If you’re a masochist… who knows. There are other ways to be kinky, though.

38. Slap her vagina

Porn can be arousing, but not entertaining. Having a man lick his hand and then slap your genitals is not arousing for most women.

39. Keep going, even if it hurts

I’ve heard that this applies not only to anal sex, but any type of intercourse. No! Pain means stop! If you want pain, you better get educated on SSC and RACK practices – if you don’t know what those mean… that means you need to educate yourself.

40. Keep it below 5

“No man will respect you if you’ve slept with more than 5 men in your life” – This is another piece of advice that can be thrown in the trash.

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Which of these shocked you the most? Share in the comments!