Addiction, Recovery, and the Power of Connection

Dr. David Fawcett

In recent years, addiction has increasingly been described as an intimacy disorder. This means that addiction is not caused by a lack of willpower or an irrational pursuit of pleasure, as has long been thought. Rather, addicts suffer from intimacy disorders that make it easier (i.e., emotionally safer) for addicts to turn to addictive substances or behaviors to satisfy their emotional needs (or, more accurately, to temporarily avoid feeling unfulfilled emotions pain of need). It is being vulnerable in front of another person, thereby risking rejection, shame, and other forms of emotional discomfort.

But this understanding of addiction is a relatively new development. Until then, scientists and those treating addiction often viewed it as a form of moral failing coupled with an excessive pursuit of pleasure. Truth be told, this idea is not unreasonable, as addictive substances and behaviors produce surges of dopamine, adrenaline, and other pleasure-related neurochemicals that cause feelings of joy, excitement, intensity, and more. It seems natural that after experiencing these feelings, we might want to go back for more. Especially when we are weak-willed and overly hungry for pleasure.

Even NIDA (National Institute on Drug Abuse) has endorsed the theory that addiction is the result of a frenzied pursuit of pleasure.[i] NIDA’s approval was based partly on the ethics of the time and partly on scientific research. For the most part, the study placed mice in cages with two water bottles – one containing pure water and the other containing opioid-infused water. These experiments consistently found that rats almost always chose (and ultimately overdosed on) opium water. In other words, rats would rather drink “happy water” than regular water, even if it kills them.

From this, it’s easy to conclude that addiction is all about seeking pleasure. However, we now know this theory is incorrect. When we think about it, this makes perfect sense too. Otherwise, anyone who has had a sip or two of alcohol will become an alcoholic, anyone who has taken opioids (even by prescription) will become an addict, anyone who has ever played a slot machine will become a chronic gambler, and so on. But that’s not the case. In fact, the vast majority of people who try addictive substances and behaviors do not become addicted. So while the link between happiness and addiction seems obvious and crucial, there must be other factors at play.

The first breakthrough in the question of what factors besides pleasure drove people to become addicted came in 1980, when addiction researcher Bruce Alexander began questioning early experiments on mice. Alexander recognized that rats are social animals, much like humans, which is one of the reasons they are so useful in psychological experiments. To him, placing a rat alone in a small cage, doing nothing, and choosing between plain water and opium water seemed like a poorly designed experiment. He thought: “Of course they chose to take drugs. What else were they supposed to do? They had no other choice.”

Thus, Alexander created what we now call “Rat Park.” He found a large cage filled with cedar shavings, toys, empty cans and boxes to play with, things to crawl on, and not one but twenty rats of both sexes. He then observed whether the rats preferred plain water or opium water. As expected, the rats of Alexandria spent their time playing, mating, and fighting—that is, socializing—and they almost without exception ignored the opium water.[ii] Even rats that were previously quarantined and drugged opted for healthy socialization and regular access to water when they were released into the rat park.

Suddenly, a lack of close emotional connection was discovered to be a factor in the development and maintenance of addiction. Further research tells us that nearly all addicts report some degree of family dysfunction during childhood, which teaches them that others, even those who are supposed to love and care for them unconditionally, are untrustworthy. This lesson takes hold early in their lives and continues into adulthood, causing them, as adults, to feel out of place in a human version of the Mouse Park. So, I became addicted.

In the years following Alexander’s initial experiments with rats, countless studies linked early-life trauma to addiction and other emotional/behavioral problems. One notable study found that survivors of chronic childhood trauma (four or more major traumatic experiences before age 18) were:

• 1.8 times more likely to smoke.
• The likelihood of obesity is 1.9 times that of the general population.
• People are 2.4 times more likely to experience persistent anxiety.
• People are 3.6 times more likely to suffer from depression.
• The likelihood of promiscuity is 3.6 times higher than the general population.
• People are 7.2 times more likely to drink alcohol than the general population.
• 11.1 times more likely to be an intravenous drug user.[iii]

Thus, we see an undeniable link between childhood trauma, feeling uneasy in a human rat park, and many adult life problems, including addiction. Addiction, therefore, is not an out-of-control pursuit of pleasure, as many people once thought. Yes, pleasure opens the door to addiction, but it doesn’t push people through and close the door behind them. What causes this is a lack of (and fear of) close emotional connection – isolating individuals and essentially limiting them to the choice of plain water or medicated water.

So what can be done about an addict’s lack of intimacy?

The good news is that even the most isolated addicts can learn to connect and develop intimacy. Generally, the process begins with individual therapy, where the addict slowly learns to trust the paid therapist with their thoughts, feelings, fears, and secrets. Over time, this expanded to group therapy, 12-step groups, and other therapeutic relationships. As the recovering addict interacts with safe, non-judgmental, empathetic others (many of whom have deep empathy because of being recovering addicts themselves), slowly but steadily Trust is built. Eventually, addicts learn to be vulnerable with others, opening up in ways that help the addict meet their emotional needs. In this way, the need to escape the pain of unmet emotional needs through addictive substances and behaviors disappears, and long-term sobriety, recovery, and healing are possible.

The antidote to addiction is not willpower or a 24/7 babysitter, but close emotional connection with empathetic others. The way to overcome addiction is to join (or rejoin) the human mouse park.

Of course, this is an oversimplification. Although rats and humans are similarly social in many ways, humans are far more complex. We cannot just return an addict to mainstream society and expect him to immediately fit in, connect, and stay sober. For rats, this works great. For humans, it takes more effort – therapy, social support, and ongoing effort through therapy, 12-step groups, etc.

Consider the country of Portugal. Portugal decriminalized drug use in 2001 and redirected resources from arrests, courts and prisons to treatment and social integration of problem drug users.[iv] The government even provides employment and housing subsidies for recovering addicts. In other words, Portugal focuses on connecting drug users to other people and society at large, rather than further isolating them by putting them in prison. This approach is working. Drug deaths are down, incarceration rates are down, and countless former addicts are now recovering from addiction previous Addict.

Granted, Portugal is just a massive social experiment, trying to attract drug users rather than drive them away. But combined with the research of Alexander and others, it seems clear that this addiction is indeed an intimacy disorder, and the long-term antidote absolutely must involve the development of emotionally intimate connections.

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refer to

[i] Bergero, N. (1980). Addiction to pleasure: Biological and social psychological theories of addiction. NIDA research monograph, 30246-255.

[ii] Alexander (BK), Beilstein (BL), Hardaway (PF), and Combs (RB) (1981). Effects of early and late group housing on oral morphine administration in rats. Pharmacology Biochemistry and Behavior, 15(4), 571-576.

[iii] Anda, R., Felitti, V., Bremner, J., Walker, J., Whitfield, C., Perry, B., … Giles, W. (2006). The lasting effects of childhood abuse and related adverse experiences. European Archives of Psychiatry and Clinical Neuroscience, 256(3):174-186.

[iv] Hughes, C. E., & Stevens, A. (2010). What can we learn from Portugal’s decriminalization of illegal drugs? British Journal of Criminology, 50(6), 999-1022.