9 naughty Christmas sweaters – giggling, crazy or just gagged

1.7K

Not every sex-related article needs to be a serious guide on how to keep sex toys from going up your butt, or how to properly clean and care for them. They can be fun, funny, and may contain pictures of breasts.

So in the spirit of the laugh or no-fuss holiday season, here are some naughty Christmas jumpers and why I love them, hate them, or have a “whatever” feeling about them.

#1. Happy Reindeer

I’ve never seen a reindeer humping in woolly form. So it naturally made the “love” list – there are plenty of jokes about Santa, Mrs. Claus, and elves out there. But these lusty creatures need love, too, right?

#2. Feel all the joy

My friend actually made one for an “ugly Christmas sweater” party. It made the “favorites” list for just that reason. If you’re on a budget but still want to dress fancy, you can easily make your own version—and of course, you can make one for men, too.

#3. Cupid, Donna, and… Boo Boo?

If you’re a fan of this comic, then I’m sorry. But for me, it’s on the “hate list” for one simple reason – it’s just too over the top. OK, I laughed at the first, second and third reading. I laughed at the Disney Mouse version of the comic, but jeez (plastic cover or not), the bare breast jokes are long overdue – let’s not beat up that poor dead reindeer.

#4. Kiss the leaves under the mistletoe

I’m a little torn on this one. On one hand, the dangling mistletoe is just as over the top as the exposed boobs (maybe even more so), but the sweater itself is kind of cute and ugly. The dangling mistletoe appears to be removable, so I guess that’s a win (if you like it but not the plant part). I guess we’ll go with “Meh”… mehstletoe.

#5. A well-hung ball

Love it. The material does look comfortable – not the kind you want to scratch your back with a cheese grater until the pain rather than the itch is relieved. It’s simple and about as “elegant” as can be. I also like the reference? Would we classify it as a pun? Whatever. I just hope the person who wears this can back up their claim *wink.

#6. A Christmas full of hair

Hate. Hate. Hate. Why? I never thought I would find something that annoys me more than a boob/penis sweater, but this sweater does. Hair swimsuits, hair leggings, hair vests. Now we have the hair sweater with the so-called tattoo. I’m sure there will be viewers or family members who would love this sweater, but I just want to burn it. The only saving grace is the homage to the leg lamp in the movie A Christmas Story.

#7. Rich word games

If this wordplay isn’t to your taste, don’t worry. There are literally hundreds of other versions with sayings that might make you laugh. It’s just cheesy in every way – like a naughty and ugly Christmas sweater. But to me… it just doesn’t make any sense. Ugh.

#8. Stripper Elf

The reason I love this photo is simple. No, it’s not because of the warm feeling of a hardworking spirit who needs a break. It’s not because of a working girl making money. No, this photo made the “favorites” list for a completely unrelated reason. This photo…

Remember when a kid was asked to draw a picture of what her mom did at work? Mom was so shocked she had to write a letter to the school explaining that she wasn’t a stripper but a Home Depot worker who was selling her last snow shovel to a bunch of people who actually needed one for a snowstorm. Ah, nostalgia.

#9. Games included…

In my opinion, this is a winner. Not only do you get the ugly sweater vibe, you also get a naughty game that makes you drink and get naughtier! You can’t lose!

Also, if you want more fun holiday articles, you might like these…

Which of the following sweaters would you dare to wear? Yes, publicly. Share it in the comments!