Adult Topic Blogs

Your Mid-Year Sex Life Reset

A couple in warm clothes gazes at each other lovingly

A couple in warm clothes gazes at each other lovingly
If you feel like your love life needs a winter reboot, you’re not alone. Sexologist Morgan Payne is here to help!

It’s the middle of winter in Australia and New Zealand. Sometimes it’s dark by the end of the day before we even get home. Maybe we’re eating gooey food to warm ourselves up from the inside out. The last thing you want to do is get naked and sexy. But I think this is the perfect time to focus on a mid-year sex reset. Here’s how you can use this mid-year point to rejuvenate and enhance your sexual relationship.

If you’re like me, you probably resolved on January 1 to prioritize your sex life, try something new, and work on making sex a top priority. If you’re nodding your head in agreement now, you’re probably like me and have reached mid-year, and that bold resolution has fallen by the wayside.

Don’t be afraid, and don’t beat yourself up about it. The good news is, if you’re healthy and willing to start over, then we can do a winter reset for your intimate life. Just like a car needs regular maintenance to keep it running smoothly, relationships and sexual connections need regular attention and care. A sexual reset isn’t just about physical intimacy; it’s about emotional intimacy, communication, and overall relationship satisfaction. Both with yourself and with others. Mid-year is an ideal time to pause, reflect, and rejuvenate. It provides a natural checkpoint to assess your relationship health and make necessary adjustments.

Sexual Reboot Primer

A woman touches her face with her fingers in front of a foggy bathroom mirror.A woman touches her face with her fingers in front of a foggy bathroom mirror.
A hot bath can help you hit that sexy moment during this winter sex reset.

There are a lot of things you can do to reset your sex life. Everyone is different, so unless you get personalized professional advice, you may find that some ideas resonate more with you, and that’s okay. Also, like all family games, sometimes sex exercises can feel a little confrontational, but if you approach them with an open mind, you may find that they really work for you.

Radical Honesty

Be honest with yourself. What do you want in a sexy body? If you’re in a relationship, set aside time to talk with your partner. Discuss what’s working, what’s not, and what you both want in the future. Make sure this conversation is non-judgmental, fun, and not too serious. It should be exciting!

But once you’ve decided how to move forward, be sure to think carefully about prioritizing. Make a list of things you want to try, schedule intimate dates to enjoy your sex life, and keep the lines of communication open to keep the sex life flowing.

read more: Morgan Penn on Desire, Fear, and Boundaries

Comfortable and cozy

I get it, it’s cold and you don’t feel like taking off your clothes. So let’s get creative. Turn on the heater in the room where you plan to jump rope an hour beforehand so you feel like you’re on a hot European summer night and can’t wait to take off your clothes! You can also try:

Take a hot bath

Whether you’re alone or with a partner, a hot shower can keep you warm while keeping your body in touch.

Give each other a sexy massage

A woman holds a JimmyJane massage candle.A woman holds a JimmyJane massage candle.
Massage candles give you both the flickering light and the warmth of a warm, sensual massage. Just remember to let the oil cool a bit after you blow out the flame to avoid burning your loved one!

Start by covering the body parts you’re not massaging with a warm towel from the dryer, towel rack, or stove. Hot Tip: Don’t forget to warm the massage oil!

move

Do some foreplay like dancing together. This will increase body temperature and get blood flowing. I’m not talking about wild dance moves like Zumba, but gentle sexy swaying and twisting can help you get in the mood.

stay close

Don’t forget the warming power of skin-to-skin contact. Use your body to generate and share heat. Snuggle under your duvet, use it as a warm cave, and start exploring your body.

Spoon

Positions that involve full-body contact, such as the spooning hug, can help maintain body temperature.

Heating toys

Pipedream Icicles Curved Dong is great for temperature play - also MorganPipedream Icicles Curved Dong is great for temperature play - also Morgan
If you’re looking for a great glass toy, this one from Pipedream’s Icicles series is one of Morgan’s favorites. Simply soak it in hot water before use and let the glass absorb all that delicious heat!

Some sex toys come preheated before use to add extra comfort. Glass toys are great for this purpose, but you can also find toys that can be heated.

Candle

The answer is obvious: fire! Psychologically, fire is directly linked to warmth. While candles may not have much of an effect on our body temperature, they can warm the ambiance of a room and create an overall feeling of comfort.

Staying warm during sex during the colder months is all about creating a cozy, warm environment and using body heat and external heat sources to unleash our inner fire.

Experiment and explore

Routine can lead to boredom. Part of your sex life reset may be to explore new aspects of your sexual relationship. This may mean trying new activities, experimenting with different ways to be intimate, or even learning more about each other’s fantasies and desires. Be open to exploration and make it a shared adventure.

Focus on emotional intimacy

Sexual relationships are closely linked to emotional intimacy. Engage in activities that strengthen your emotional connection, such as deep conversations, shared hobbies, or simply spending some uninterrupted quality time together.

Prioritize Self-Care

Personal health is essential to a healthy sexual relationship. Encourage each other to prioritize self-care, whether through exercise, hobbies, relaxation techniques, or seeking therapy when needed. Whether you want a sex life reset or not, being positive about your physical and mental state will have a positive impact on your relationship.

Seek professional advice

Sometimes, achieving a sexual reset requires more than a blog post. If you’re really confused, seek guidance from a sex therapist or relationship counselor who can provide valuable insights and strategies for your unique situation. We shouldn’t do all the hard stuff alone, and sometimes we need to call in the professionals to help!

Finding Your Sexual Reset

Even if you didn’t make sexual decisions at the beginning of the year, it’s never too late to reconnect sexually with yourself or your partner. Reconnecting sexually mid-year may be just what sexologists recommend. It can improve your overall relationship satisfaction, increase intimacy, and reignite passion. Plus, it can foster a deeper level of understanding and connection between partners. With a conscious focus on communication, romance, exploration, emotional intimacy, self-care, and potentially professional guidance, you can reconnect and rejuvenate your relationship.

Hopefully this mid-year sex reset will warm things up between the sheets this winter so it’s less “Netflix and chill” and more “bedroom and body heat.”

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