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They replied “I don’t want to” – they didn’t want to be bridesmaids.
As wedding costs for couples continue to soar, the financial burden and time commitment for brides and grooms is forcing bridesmaids among Gen Z and millennials to give up their once coveted role.
Business Insider reports that wedding costs have risen about 13% this year alone, with the average wedding costing about $33,000, according to Zola.
Allison Cullman, vice president of brand marketing and strategy at the wedding planning platform, told the publication that weddings have become multi-day events, with a rise in destination weddings and a 23 percent increase in bridal parties last year.
The lavish ceremony and three-day ordeal are partly a product of social media.
“Before you had wedding magazines and binders, now you have multiple social platforms at your fingertips,” Kalman told Business Insider.
She said the couple were now trying to fit in their “unrealistic” ideas for the big day, which were “well beyond” the scope of their budget and wedding party.
Coupled with the fact that helping the bride prepare and plan is so time-consuming, bridesmaids began to refuse to attend weddings.
Afrakomah Darko, 27, told BI that being a bridesmaid cost her a whopping $12,000. She said in a TikTok video that financial pressures have prompted her to vow to turn down all wedding party invitations indefinitely from now on.
“We need to normalize saying no to being people’s maid of honor or bridesmaid,” said Stephanie Greenstreet, a 27-year-old British content creator, in a recent TikTok.
After serving as her sister’s maid of honor, she realized the job was “hard,” time-consuming and the ultimate test of friendship. After that, she couldn’t imagine herself taking on the same responsibility for someone else.
“I think we’re finally seeing that shift where people are saying, ‘No, I don’t know if I can do this,'” Greenstreet told Business Insider.
To mitigate any unexpected expenses or unexpected burdens, Greenstreet’s sister explained the financial cost of attending the wedding to each bridesmaid when she invited them to the ceremony.
According to Kalman, wedding party members can expect to attend six or seven wedding-related events — a bridal shower, bachelorette trips, a welcome party, a rehearsal dinner and, of course, the ceremony. Not to mention, wedding party members typically meet with the bride-to-be to help her make plans.
“For brides out there, if someone refuses to be your maid of honor or maid of honor etc., I really think you should evaluate whether that is the best option,” Greenstreet said online.
“I know it’s a really hurtful thing, when you ask someone for help and you do everything you can and you think this person is really special to you, but if you need them to give you something that you need and they don’t think they can give it, then you’re saving yourself in the long run.”
