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Group Sex Etiquette

Group Sex Etiquette

Group sex fantasies are one of the most common fantasies among men and women. Reasons Why People Watch PornI used to believe that only a few people would venture into the realm of gangbangs, and that gangbangs only happened behind doors at the end of dark alleys, guarded by ferocious werewolves. Beyond that, I knew nothing about gangbang etiquette.

Now that I’m older and wiser, my mind has expanded and I’ve begun to understand the possibility of having sex with multiple people at the same time. I now realize that it can happen in many different ways and is very common. To describe the extent of group sex, here are some interesting facts:

  • Cuckholding is defined as a man seeing his partner/wife having sex with another man. It is the second most searched heterosexual online porn category worldwide.
  • An estimated 15 million Americans participated in wife swapping in 2011 (4% of the population!!).
  • In JapanGroup sex parties, where multiple men masturbate and ejaculate on a single woman, are common, with some establishments openly advertising them in public places.

Through my experience, I’ve realized that group sex can be difficult to accept for both singles and those in a relationship, so I’m sharing some advice for those new to group sex and those looking to enter this wonderful and exciting field.

communicate

If this is not present then sticky issues can arise. Communication needs to be open in any sexual experience, and if there are more than two people involved it is even more important that everyone involved feels comfortable communicating.

If you can’t communicate with one partner, it’s going to be hard to communicate with more than one, so I recommend getting that clear before trying to have sex with multiple people at once. There are some very important things to discuss before engaging in group sex that will mean a healthy and fulfilling experience.

  • boundary: What behaviors are not allowed, what behaviors are you unwilling to do, and where are your boundaries? When this information is known, the people you are interacting with will feel more comfortable knowing your boundaries and what behaviors are allowed. Obviously, things may change throughout the experience, and it is important to allow everyone involved to speak freely throughout the process.
  • desire: Talking about your desires and what turns you on is a really fun way to let everyone involved know how to best please you. This means you can get what turns you on.

Sexual health

It’s important to take the right precautions to stay healthy, and having more sex partners means you’re at a greater risk for contracting an STI. To ensure you’re safe when engaging in group sex, it’s important to use condoms. This also means using a different condom for each partner. To ensure everyone’s safety, it’s important to get tested for STIs.

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Remove expectations that things will go a certain way

As with any sexual experience, sticking to a plan can ruin your libido. The way adult films present threesomes, foursomes, and groupies is meant to entertain the viewer, not for educational purposes. So don’t worry if your experience isn’t what you thought it would be.

Group SexJust like any other sexual experience, group sex can be messy and awkward at times. I mean, for one thing, an extra set of limbs definitely presents some logistical issues! I’ve found that approaching group sex with a sense of playfulness, rather than trying to get it “right,” is a surefire way to ensure it’s a memorable experience for all the right reasons.

It must be a genuine shared desire of all concerned.

Whether it’s 3, 4 or 10 people, getting everyone on the same page is essential to the enjoyment of the group experience. If you’re going to meet your partner’s wishes, and those wishes are not your own, then problems are bound to arise. I can’t stress this enough, only attend if you want to do so yourself!

Jealousy is a normal emotion

When talking to friends about polyamory and having sex with multiple partners, I hear the same thing: “I can’t do that, I’d be too jealous.” Now maybe I’m wrong, but I believe that no matter what kind of relationship you’re in, or what kind of experience you’re going through, jealousy is likely to come up! You might get jealous because your boyfriend has an attractive work partner and he spends time with her. Or you might get jealous when you see your girlfriend looking at that cute bartender.

In fact, you may encounter Emotional or sexual jealousyor you may experience both feelings at the same time. The stories we make up to explain jealousy are often unfounded, but jealousy is a strong emotion that triggers very strong feelings, which is why people avoid situations that might generate jealousy.

My advice is to discuss these feelings and fears openly with your partner, without projecting them onto them or blaming them for your feelings. If facing jealousy is completely impossible, then maybe group sex isn’t your thing. However, if you can see it for what it is — an emotion that will pass — and you’re ready to feel it, then group sex could be the best thing that ever happened to you.

have fun!!

The main point to remember when participating in group sex is that it should be a fun, enjoyable and playful experience that allows you to connect with different people. I have spoken to many people who swear that going public with their relationship was the best thing they have ever done. I know this is not for everyone, but any sense of shame surrounding a mutual desire to participate in group sex in a relationship should be eliminated. Additionally, any singles who want to explore group sex with multiple people should be proud of their willingness to explore the possibilities of this awesome activity.

By Stephanie Curtis – Bachelor of Nursingsave

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