Understanding Why You Want Sex Can Make Your Life Better

Last Saturday, I talked about sexual attunement, which is when your brain feels the same arousal as your body. Today, I want to talk about something similar; knowing why you want to have sex. Or should I say, knowing all the reasons why you want to have sex.

I also seek sex when my body doesn’t want it. I want sex for comfort, or to connect with my wife, or because it’s like taking steroids. This didn’t happen when I was younger because my body was always ready. But in my 60s, with an abundant sex life, there are times when I’m in that situation. And because I’ve learned what those sexual desires feel like, I can recognize them even when my body isn’t ready, or isn’t ready.

That doesn’t mean I always have these feelings. Sometimes I just want to enjoy my wife because sex is so wonderful. Sometimes I really need to release my sexual desire. Sometimes sex is also a reset after a crazy day or few days. Yes, it helps me and Lori reset, but it can also help me feel normal in so many other ways. We can also use sex to relax, or to help us fall asleep.

All of this is reasonable and God approves. Your wife may or may not understand or be okay with it. She has many reasons to want sex, but if she doesn’t know when she wants it, it’s unlikely she’ll know why she wants it.

When you want sex, start thinking about this. What are the parts of your desire this time? Should the reason you want sex change the way you have sex? Should it change the way you value sex? If you don’t know why you want sex, you can’t have the sex you want.

In addition to a better understanding of your sexuality, if your wife is willing, showing her why you want sex will help her meet your needs. This should also help her think about why she wants sex. This will make her sex life better and may make her want sex more often.

Image credit: © Paul H Byerly Created using stockdreams.ai
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