Coping with the effects of premarital sex

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Last Friday, the ladies and I talked about sex baiting and switched from pre-wedding to post-wedding. A typical example is a woman having oral sex before marriage but not after marriage. My advice is for women to do this because sex has become the price of admission for subsequent dates and marriage.

This article prompted some interesting comments. I will paraphrase and modify these comments in places to address common questions related to this.

Some believe the men took advantage of their future wives and are suffering the consequences. But in this case, many men don’t know that the woman is against what she’s doing. This is especially true if the woman has previously had unwanted sexual intercourse with another man.

Some people point out that all forms of premarital sex are wrong. I totally agree. I also know that it is rare for a couple to keep their virginity intact on their wedding night, and even rarer still not to have sexual contact. I don’t normalize this; sadly, it’s the norm. My goal is to address the consequences of what most people do.

It was then suggested that it was unacceptable to refuse any permitted sexual activity. A woman should deal with the things that prevent her from doing anything. The Bible does say that it is wrong to refuse sex, but it does not in any way indicate that it is wrong to refuse oral sex or other specific acts or positions. Yes, there are women who avoid certain sexual behaviors because of false teachings, but there are also sex-positive women who do all sorts of things against oral sex or other behaviors or specific positions.

The reality is that premarital sex is sin, and sin always has consequences. If you and your wife are both reasonable, you can work through the problems that arise from choosing not to wait.

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