The power of obstacle immunity

Scott Brassart

Addicts of all types are prone to falling into toxic behavioral patterns, the most obvious of which is emotional and psychological avoidance. When faced with stress and life challenges, they choose to escape – numbing their fear and discomfort with addictive substances and behaviors. Instead of facing the obstacles and disappointments that inevitably arise in life, they avoid them.

Addicts do this because they learn, usually early in life, that it’s easier and safer (less chance of failing and feeling ashamed) if they just look away and pretend their problem doesn’t exist . So now, as adults, when they encounter an obstacle, they avoid it and look for an easier, gentler way to overcome it. For many addicts, this easier, gentler way is a toxic pattern of escape and dissociation through addictive substances and behaviors.

Of course, in recovery, addicts find that they now have to face life’s challenges instead of running away from them. Life does keep throwing them challenges—flat tires, work conflicts, pandemics, and more. Unfortunately, because they have spent much of their lives in a toxic pattern of avoiding rather than facing life’s obstacles, they often feel trapped when they encounter difficulties. one. They find they don’t know how to overcome even the simplest challenges because they’ve never done it before. In short, they lack barrier immunity.

Disorder immunity develops when the addict consciously steps away from the toxic dance of escape and avoidance. As they do this, they slowly but steadily learn how to face and overcome life’s challenges and disappointments. Over time, as they adopt this new, healthier way of approaching life, they develop immunity to the disorder. Ultimately, even the biggest obstacles barely slow them down. Often, they find that they enjoy facing and overcoming life’s challenges. They might even think of something they’ve always wanted to do but were afraid of failing, and then set themselves a challenge to do it.

In his book, Best Experience Psychology”, Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi writes, “The best moments of our lives are not passive, receptive, relaxed moments… The best moments usually occur when [our] In the process of voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile, the body or mind is stretched to its limits. ” This statement applies very specifically to addiction recovery. When recovering addicts challenge themselves to break free from toxic patterns of escape through addiction, they stretch their bodies and minds in ways they never thought possible, and even their souls who often find this process very valuable.

Happily, any recovering addict can develop immunity to the disorder. The first step is to challenge yourself. For many people, especially those new to the recovery and treatment process, a good challenge might be to stay sober for the next 24 hours, or attend 90 recovery-themed sessions in 90 days . As sobriety improves and recovery progresses, challenges may include returning to school or repairing damaged relationships or even running a marathon. The trick is to start with a manageable challenge (like staying sober until at least the next 12-step meeting), and then try to do a little more tomorrow and every day thereafter. Through this approach, recovering addicts can break toxic patterns of avoidance and establish a new pattern of fulfilling life.

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If you or someone you care about is struggling with a sex or porn addiction, help is available. For porn addicts, Seeking Integrity offers a low-cost online work group series. Click here for information. We offer a similar work group series for sex addicts. Click here for information.