The Couple Who Masturbates Together: 8 Ways to Masturbate

Calling all you gorgeous masturbators out there: you know who you are. You are the world’s most accomplished pleasure soloists, so adept at orgasmic solitude that you’ve made it an art. Your fantasies are like ripe fruit, deliciously ready to flow.

Let me ask you a question: Have you ever shared the glory of your self-satisfied bliss with someone else? Say, your partner (if applicable), or even a new fling? Maybe you’ve tried mutual masturbation but it never really worked, or it was awkward, or it made you feel not hot, or whatever. Or maybe you’ve wanted to bring it up with your lover, but you can’t seem to get over the hesitation.

Anyway, I say, what better way to honor the spirit of Masturbation can than to approach this subject all the? Of course, nothing should go all the way (or at all) without warm mutual consent. I’m just sharing some food for thought about your potential for shared pleasure.

But why ?

Some of us find the very term “mutual masturbation” a little confusing. Do you touch yourself, or do you touch each other? Or do both happen at the same time? The answer is all of the above, or whatever feels good to you. Others of us get the gist of it, but still don’t see the point. Let me tell you.

First of all, masturbation is one of the best ways known to the universe to get in touch with with your own body and trigger a release stress, tension, anxiety. But when you invite a partner to participate, masturbation can also be a very intimate form of self-love, mutual love, and shared sexual exploration. Not to mention, it’s the hottest form of sex education: what better way to show your partner what really turns you on?

Here are some tips for anyone who needs a little help on how to introduce masturbation into the proverbial shared bedroom.

1. Touch each other, together

You can start by touching yourself while your partner watches, or you can both touch yourself at the same time, while watching each other. Don’t be afraid to talk dirty, add porn to the mixmaintain eye contact (or not), depending on your comfort level and preferences. Better yet, make it kinky: you’re not allowed to touch each other. There are no rules, except the ones we agree on.

2. Touch each other

Another common way to share mutual masturbation Pleasure is about pleasuring yourself with your hands or fingers, with or without penetration, depending on your desire. If you choose this route, make sure you are both comfortable for optimal pleasure. For me, the almost innocent simplicity of touching yourself at the same time, with just your hands, is erotic in itself.

3. Kissing

Sexologist Sara Trivette stresses: “It’s going to be easier to please yourself in front of your partner if you’re already feeling aroused.” To build up your arousal, she recommends “kissing or caressing each other, whatever turns you on.” should Obviously, it bears repeating: jumping into sex without taking the time to warm things up won’t be as good. Kissing can also make the introduction of masturbation feel more natural. Once your clothes are off, you can ask your partner if they enjoyed watching you undress or if they want to see how you touch yourself. Of course, this takes a certain amount of self-confidence, which you’re cultivating right now as you read this. Ultimately, it’s not just about the connection you have with your partner, but also with yourself.

4. Take positions

As with any sexual encounter, it is important to inform your partner. Or You want them. If you’re pleasuring yourself solo, you might want them to spoon you, or be in front of you, caressing your thighs. Or maybe you’d prefer to adopt your usual masturbation position. Once you’re more comfortable, you can explore other positions. The “chest chair,” for example, adds a little power play to the mix. One partner (ideally the lighter one) sits on the other’s chest or stomach. “The pressure of someone sitting on top of you can be relaxing and anxiety-relieving in the same way a weighted blanket does,” according to Indigo Wolfe, Sex Educator“It also mimics the feeling of being pinned to the ground,” a plus for couples who enjoy that kind of kinky stuff. Wolfe points out that it’s also an option for anyone who feels self-conscious about fully exposing their genitals: The person on top will only see their partner’s sexy facial expressions.

5. Don’t care about your appearance

This can be really hard, I know, but try your best not to worry about your appearance. We are all, every single one of us, at least slightly disconnected from how we actually appear to others. While it can be tempting to turn shared masturbation into some kind of performance, it will be more exciting if you focus less on being a porn star and more on feeling really, really good (if porn is your dream, good for you, but try to put that on hold anyway, for the sake of your partnered session). After all, your partner will want to see how you In fact turn yourself on, then focus on your true pleasure and the true sensations that inspire it.

6. Invite your toys to the party

Presentation sex toys in your foray into mutual masturbation might just be the missing ingredient for your relationship. While I bet no two sexual psyches are the same, playing with the help of quality toys can deepen both the kinky factor and the intimacy of shared pleasure. vibratorA anal plugor one penis ringDecorating your mutual session with toys can be a great new form of sexual experimentation. Or maybe some light bondage with handcuffs. Trying new things is very trendy. And setting boundaries if the new thing doesn’t end up being what you wanted is just as trendy.

7. Don’t let distance be an obstacle

If you are in a long distance relation or you’re being kept away from your significant other due to lockdowns or other Covid orders, there are still ways to get creative. Subvert Zoom, I say: forget the “shirt-and-pants” professional look. Instead, opt for a fully nude outfit or lewd lingerie. There’s nothing less than fantastic about spicing things up and connecting via virtual mutual masturbation when meeting in person isn’t an option. Just like you would in person, experiment with different positions and angles until you find one that works for you, whether the camera is focused on the action, your face alone, or positioned further away to capture your entire body. And: Always have an honest discussion with your partner about consent to recording and storing videos. Trust is a must.

8. Let yourself be carried away

Mutual masturbation should be no different than any other sexual act in that there should be no pressure to cum or not cum. If you decide to switch it up and please yourself, that’s fine. If you decide to stop and go for a walk, or cuddle and fall asleep, that’s fine. It’s all about pleasure, fickle goddess, so strict plans usually don’t apply.

Bottom line: Mutual masturbation can be one of the most intimate acts there is. Showing your partner how you touch yourself when no one is watching (and watching them do the same) can take things to the next level. That said, be patient with yourself and enjoy the ride, baby.