Step 8: This is for you, not for them

The first step to forgiveness is the willingness to forgive.

For many recovering sex and porn addicts, the second half of step 8—being willing to make amends—is incredibly difficult. When we think about it, it comes completely naturally. After all, most of the people on our amends list have behaved badly toward us in the past, making it easy to grasp at their faults to excuse our own poor behavior. If we catch ourselves doing this, we don’t have to beat ourselves up about it. Instead, we can simply recognize our feelings and remind ourselves that Step 8: It’s not about them, it’s about usWe are implementing the 12 steps to heal ourselves, not to heal them.

Today’s Task
Ask yourself if you are making changes in your life to further your recovery or to gain “goodwill” from others.