“Speak loudly” in relationships can put pressure on things

They say love is about communication – just not totally exploded.

Reddit users sparked online discussions and debates after posting their partner’s constant request to “down your volume,” even if they say they’re just excited rather than screaming.

Anonymous users brought their relationship beef to the infamous R/Amithea-Hole forum via U/Farts2long (yes, indeed) and explained that their voices naturally get bigger when they have a conversation.

They wrote: “Sometimes, when I get excited about a topic, I naturally speak louder than usual.”

They added: “Don’t yell, it’s louder than the normal conversation level. The problem is, I didn’t realize I’m doing it at this moment.”

But their partner is not a fan of the oral volume.

The poster points out that their important other will interrupt their “middle sentences” and ask them to “reduce” their volume.

Redditor admits that it may not be a “slutty or rude way” but emphasizes that it still makes them feel fired and discouraged.

Redditors are eager to weigh, with over 12,000 hosts and hundreds of mixed opinions.

The original poster continues: “I lost my enthusiasm and no longer talked about things I was excited about.”

While many commenters agree that the partner’s request is reasonable, others urge empathy and better communication.

One person wrote: “I get it, you’re happy to talk to someone who cares about what you care about.”

“However, in this case, as someone who is the same partner as you, it’s hard to sit and try to interact with someone when they are essentially yelling in your face.”

Another said: “You have the right to feel what you feel, but it may also sound like you may ignore it.”

Angelika Koch, a relationship expert at LGBTQ+ dating app Taimi, recently told Newsweek that time and tone are crucial when addressing someone’s volume.

“Tell someone among them that even with good intentions they feel loud and feel a little humiliated,” she explained. “Most people don’t even notice when their voices rise.”

Koch advises couples to use subtle hand signals or touch to gently illuminate the problem. “As time goes by, they may even start to catch themselves,” she said.

“But it only happens when they don’t feel their character is under attack.”

If couples are looking for ways to speak without ruining the entire conversation, they may get tips from psychotherapist Amy Morin.

Morin had previously told CNBC that it was a mentally strong couple who rely on some key phrases to keep it cool and constructive.

Among them? “I’m going to tell you something that can be frustrating,” and “understandably, you’ll do that.”

Goals: Empathy, ownership and seeking solutions.

“Accepting responsibility for your share also increases your partner’s chances of responsibility for them,” Morin said.

“So, you both can put your energy into developing solutions.”

Sounds like a recipe that turns volume down – Don’t close each other.