Social media users share their most memorable

There is no porn for these embarrassing sex.

Reddit.com, backed by anonymity, has long been a recording site for some of the most shameless sex stories on the internet, with some of the best performing posts dating back to 14 years.

And, if there is a universal truth to be seen from these creepy, brave and weird stories, it is that everyone has at least one experience on Cringey Coitus.

Over the past year, 7,000 comments have been accumulated in just three posts, prompting users to share the most terrifying and embarrassing memories they have created during sex.

The topics that are often suffering in the highest comments include injuries, dismemberment, exhaustion and unsolicited interruptions – and there are many warnings.

This is the best of the worst stories to make Whoopie.

@chuglugs is one of many people who suffered or fake nosebleeds and headbuttons, drawing horrible pictures of him having sex with his future wife for the first time. They blamed his blood alcohol levels for the nightmarish scene, with more than 7,000 votes from other users.

“Late night came, I woke up randomly, I was so happy to initiate, she was frustrated by it, everything was fine until I felt the warm liquid under my nose. I turned on the lights and my nose kept bleeding on her face. Just like Like the glittering elevator door. We’ve been married for a while anyway.”

Sex can become dangerous when a partner becomes too ambitious, like @tackybrad, one of his new moves is too much.

“Because my wife likes it, because my wife loves it, keeping the same position at an awkward angle.” They started with a response of about 4,300 votes. “Now, a month later, I still can’t jump and have trouble on the stairs because part of my leg muscles are a little tired.”

For some exhausted red users, sexual behavior ranges from steaming to sleepy.

@imasloppyslopplop fell asleep in the middle of sleepy middle – and woke up in the chaos, prompting them to blurt out At night, at night, dad Give their spoon companion. @usell-box-3569 accused them of two full-time jobs and hit nor during duel oral sex.

Exposureists know that they bring their antics to risk. Fortunately for us readers, sometimes they are caught.

“I took my girlfriend for a walk in the woods. We were both in high school and had no place for ourselves, so we went to the outdoors. Anyway, we were deep in the pine forest, on the track, and set up picnic blankets. @marzubus Say, it’s cold, but we’re hot.

@marzubus felt his back end “strange feeling” as the lovebirds were doing their thing – turning around and seeing a dog burying their nose between his cheeks, “quickly from the dog’s horror owner”.

New partners are particularly vulnerable to misunderstandings, but @barbarian_818’s pitifulness doesn’t even collect the most basic details.

“I realized I didn’t know her name.” To save face, he stopped running for proper introduction.

“I made a joke. I put on a very stuffy accent and introduced myself and reached out. She played and introduced herself in the same simulation formal way.”

Some users shared practical advice on sex, and they learned the hard way to advise users to be cautious about exposure to “warming” products and mint flavors.

“Only condoms are mint-flavored. Sounds good…until burning…” every user who was deleted.

@maltedbacon bought a warm lubricant, “seems to be a good idea.”

“Fast forward 30 seconds, and each of us was curled by a lonely ball of pain.”

@19thanatos83 After accidentally burning his wife, a wise word about the wax show reminds the kinker: “There are some special candles that are not too hot for it.”

Reddit users also remind why food and gender are not usually mixed.

“Which whipped cream was used in the foreplay,” @dreyfusblue wrote. “It looks great in the movie, but it’s just greasy mess. Even if you lick it.”

@ace_of_sevens accused his “salsa lover” girlfriend of “insufficient hand washing”, causing him to encounter a too spicy masturbation. “Not recommended.”