Sex and Chronic Pain | Aldult Toys Blog

When you’re in pain for any reason, whether it’s a chronic illness or an injury, sex is probably not at the top of your list. But even though it’s 1000% natural and valid, you might want to could be able. Unsurprisingly, people who suffer physical injuries often find themselves faced with fear of sexual pain and an aversion to sex, accompanied by depression, anxiety and, surprise, a strained relationship.

Food for thought: An active sex life not only promotes a healthy relationship, but can also reduce pain. Achieving orgasm can increase pain thresholds by more than 100%and self-stimulation can increase pain thresholds by 75%. This is probably why some people use sex/masturbation as a a tool to help manage pain.

If you’re not open to sex right now, good for you, but if you’re in a relationship, make sure you find other ways to promote intimacy. If you are very open to sex, but mourning its loss – or panicking over its loss – this one is especially for you.

Different Ways to Share Sexual Intimacy with a Partner

No matter what people say, and no matter what Hollywood’s twisted depictions of sex and passion, penetrative sex is not the ultimate goal. Sex is an inherently creative act, and how it looks is very personal to you and your partner. The only certainty is that it should feel good—whatever that means for your unique body, your unique pain, and your unique pleasure.

Consider the following creative ways to share sexual intimacy with your partner when pain is part of the equation:

Sex without penetration

There is a lot of reasons why penetrative sex can be painfulincluding lack of lubrication, yeast infections, endometriosis, vaginismusAnd vulvodynia— to name just a few. While sexual intercourse itself is undesirable, there are other ways to have amazing sex and share the excitement/intimacy with a partner. Let’s also not forget that it is It is very common not to reach orgasm through penetration aloneso there really is East a whole world of other (more) potentially orgasmic types of sex that deserve your attention.

You could, for example, explore the other’s body through touch. Think, erogenous zones. This could mean cuddlycaress, fondle, massage and kiss or kiss— and/or just being naked together. You might also explore outdoor coursewhich may involve any of the above acts, as well as oral sex, rubbing, vibratorsmanual stimulation — or really, anything that doesn’t involve a penis or toy entering a vagina! Oh, and if anal sex It works for you, great. If not, don’t worry. You might be surprised at how mind-blowing sex you can have once you ditch the sex you “should” be having.

Self-pleasure

Masturbation is a potential solution to many problems. And it’s all yours. You control the rhythm, the tone, the movement, the position, the tool, the pace, the story. Whether you have a partner or notexploring personal pleasure can really help you reacquaint yourself with what feels good (or amazing) and what doesn’t. Knowledge is power, baby. Think of a tantric masturbation an approach that allows you to go slowly, put no pressure on yourself, and nurture a healthy sense of wonder at your body’s ability to experience sensory pleasure.

Try different times of the day…or month

Work with your body, never against it: If you experience more pain in the evening, having sex earlier in the day may help. If you experience more pain around your period or during ovulation, try having sex at a different point in your cycle. The link between hormonal imbalances and the prevalence of chronic pain is worth exploring, but there are other factors that can help you reduce chronic pain. East some research over there.

Try different positions

Fact: Positions that worked for you before you had chronic pain may not work now. Try different positions; some may feel better than others. If you have severe back pain or neck painTry a side-by-side position to relieve back or neck pressure, using pillows to get help if needed. If you have had knee or hip surgeryyou could try missionaryA standing positionor lying on your side with the affected leg on top. Really, there is optimal positions for a range of different injuriesSo ask your doctor or practitioner for advice to be sure. Finally, always make sure to take the time to find a comfortable height and to move in and out of positions slowly.

Warm up

Relax, breathe, and stretch before sex. Why? Because stretching before sex (like any other exercise) can improve flexibility, strength, and help prepare your body for the activity. But don’t push yourself. Be gentle and kind to yourself.

Use lubricant

There is many good reasons to use lubricant. If chronic dryness is a symptom associated with your pain, It is a good reason. Chances are you want to use a good water based lubricantbecause it is nice and slippery and easy to clean with water. But it may need to be reapplied periodically. Silicone based lubricant is very smooth and can be used in waterif that’s what you want to do. They’re also less likely to require multiple applications.

Do not rush

Take your time. Rather than jumping into sex, start with some mental sex: read each other eroticmassage each other, focus on something other than the pain. Consider exploring aware Or tantric sex and let go of the need to go from point A to point B: you never know where you might end up!

Don’t force it

It goes without saying that you should never just push through your pain and/or deny its existence, but then again, we are all wired differently. You don’t want to hurt yourself more or re-injure yourself, so respect your boundaries and/or your healing process.

Bottom line: Whether your pain is short or long-term, know this: you can Have a healthy, satisfying relationship. While it may seem trivial, intimacy really does start with honest communication. You and your partner can both try to share your feelings and desires, intentionally and regularly. Sometimes, more intense communication can bring you closer to your partner than ever before, strengthening your relationship. If sex continues to be a real problem, consider talking to a trained counselor or sex therapist.

No matter what happens, know that you can do it and that your pain does not define you. Love. <3