Safer Sex in the Age of COVID-19: A Quick and Concise Guide |

Whether you’ve been in a relationship for 10 years and are strong, single and looking for sex, or anywhere Meanwhile, the global pandemic has changed everything. Like it or not, this is our current reality. Those of us in long-term relationships have been either stuck together in isolation or apart (again, in isolation), depending on the particulars of our personal arrangements and risk factors, and those of us actively (or passively) seeking sex, love, or both have been faced with a whole new set of challenges—as if there weren’t enough barriers to intimacy without requiring a six-foot pole.

There’s no point in pretending it’s not terrible, and there’s no point in beating yourself up for any unsafe sexual encounters you’ve had so far. I mean, the whole situation is impossible on a good day. But what you can do is educate yourself and refuse to be coerced if you don’t feel good about something.

What we know so far

For people currently engaged in dating (although everyone could benefit from greater clarity), understanding the hard facts about sex and COVID transmission is essential to making safer choices. Disclaimer: Because COVID is relatively new, the facts are still being developed. Here’s what we know so far:

– Since COVID is spread primarily through the air, from droplets produced when people cough, sneeze or talk, all forms of in-person contact carry a risk, and that certainly includes sexual intercourse.

– Direct contact with saliva can easily transmit the virus, making kissing risky, especially if you are unsure of who your partner has been in contact with.

– COVID has not yet been found in vaginal secretions.

– The virus has were found in the stools of people who tested positive, meaning that rimming (AKA oral-anal contact), as well as anal sex, can spread the virus COVID. If you do go, be aware that using a dental dam can reduce contact with saliva and stool during oral-anal contact, and that a condom provides protection during anal sex.

– A recent study revealed COVID in the semen of men with active infection as well as those who have recovered. At this stage, however, it is not known whether the virus can be transmitted sexually through a man’s semen.

“Digital Meetings”

While online dating has its obvious drawbacks (like living your entire life in a Zoom bubble), it also has some fascinating benefits. For Kait Diane, 24, dating apps have helped her make meaningful and unexpected connections, “filling the void that social distancing has created in socializing.”[Before I would] “I’ve never had a video chat with someone I’ve just met. It scared me,” Diane says. “Now, I feel like putting a face to a name helps me make a better connection.”

In fact, many dating apps are leveraging their platforms to educate users about the need for social distancing and COVID– hygiene level. Tinder, for example, published a blog warning its users: “Wanting to meet your potential new person is completely reasonable. However, staying home and doing your part to stop the spread of this virus is exponentially more important than going out to meet them IRL (in real life).” Match Group, which owns Plenty Of Fish, as well as Tinder, Hinge, OKCupid, and Match.com, went so far as to launch The Dating While Distancing Hotline, a free service that allows users to seek expert advice on the current dating landscape—how to best set up a virtual date, for example.

If none of this sounds appealing, I hear you, but trying times call for digital measures, it seems. But while “digital dating” is a good thing, sometimes an in-person meeting is simply necessary: ​​to keep a budding relationship from falling apart, or to keep you from going crazy, among other reasons. Personally, if I were the case, I would insist that my potential partner and I both get tested and wait for our results (while in quarantine) before attempting a meeting—and I would have to trust the person enough to take that route. Fact: There is no such thing as a risk-free option.

Precautions you can take

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the World Health Organization (the two most important authorities on control) COVID), have refrained from offering explicit advice on how to handle sex and intimacy, seemingly overlooking the fact that misinformation spreads even more easily than the virus. Fortunately, the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene has offered the world some helpful tips for safer sex during these truly trying times, which I’ve taken the liberty of sharing with you:

1. The only safe sex is masturbationalthough it is still important to wash your hands (and sex toys) with soap and water before and after sex.

2. Sex with a trusted (consenting) partner living with you is the second safest option. The smaller the circle of people you have (sexual) contact with, the lower the risk.

3. It’s best to limit close/sexual contact with anyone you don’t live with (I’m curious how many couples have decided to move in together during this time!).

4. Talk about COVID Talk to your partner(s) about risks as you would other safe sex topics (like testing, condoms, birth control). If you’ve always struggled with this, here’s your chance to brush up on your communication skills. Be sure to ask your partner if they have any symptoms or have had any in the last 14 days, and if they’ve been diagnosed with COVID at any point.

5. People are considered to be no longer contagious about 10 days after their last symptoms appeared, although testing is the only way to be sure, as some people are completely asymptomatic. Also, just because you are cured does not mean you are safe from reinfection.

6. If you usually meet potential sex partners online or make a living working in the sex industry, consider switching to video dating, sexting, or chat rooms for now. If you’re in a relationship and don’t live together and are in lockdown, video sex can fan the flames and fuel fantasies: the unknown can be unsettling, but also sexy.

7. Wearing a face mask during sex may seem crazy, but it adds an extra layer of protection, and I personally think there’s a lot of kink potential in wearing a mask. The New York City Department of Health advises people to “get creative with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls, that allow sexual contact while preventing close face-to-face contact.”

8. Wash yourself (with soap and water) before and after sexual intercourse.

9. People with lung or heart disease, diabetes, cancer or a weakened immune system, including those with a detectable HIV viral load and low CD4 count, or those over 60, may be at higher risk and may therefore consider taking a break from sex, particularly if they are not living with their partner(s).

The essentials

Bottom line: Times are crazy, but the basic principles of risk reduction remain the same. Be as careful as you can given your personal circumstances, communicate openly and honestly with your sexual partners, and respect others’ decisions about intimate contact, even if they don’t reflect your own. We’re going to get through this, y’all.