Ripple- Sex and Relationship Restoration

Tammy Weirhurst

Recently, as I was out in the morning, I saw little bugs fall into the water and thought to myself, “It’s amazing how something that small can create such ripples?” The tiny ripples surged across the surface of the water, creating soft patterns on the water’s surface in the light of the sunrise.

For me, this was another life lesson learned in an unexpected place.

As I pondered the effect of bugs on water, I thought back to the ripples, big and small, that I have created and experienced in many ways and from many sources. Sadly, some of these have been harsh and hurtful, unkind words and actions that have left me or others feeling out of step, sad, or (often) abandoned. Unlike ripples that can disappear quickly, many, if left unaddressed, can leave shadows or scars. But I also thought about how I can let go of things that do not contribute to my connection to others and my personal safety and tranquility if I choose to do so.

If you’ve listened to our webinars, I’ve shared that I’m acutely aware of my abandonment wounds, and when they’re poked, it hurts. I can “ripple” that hurt if I want to, or I can practice self-care to avoid dwelling on it. Often, this requires reaching out to someone who understands me and can help me differentiate between what’s real and what I feel.

Thankfully, there were many ripples of kindness and healing as well. If I only focused on the negative, I would miss how people walked with me into the hurting space. When I did that, I wasn’t truly abandoned and alone because there were kind words and actions. It was real. If I look ripples of kindness, and relying on them, I can also create ripples of kindness outward.

I can choose what I want to “spread” to the world, to those within water’s reach. Knowing this, I can choose to spread positivity and healing, primarily by helping others in the same way I have been helped. I hope that those in need will be healed, and over time, they too will spread positivity. What a gift we can give to this!

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If you or someone you love is struggling with sex, pornography, or drug/sex addiction, Seeking Integrity can help. In addition to inpatient rehab, we offer low-cost online workgroups for newly recovered male sex addicts and male pornography addicts. Click here for information about our sex addiction workgroup. Click here for information about our pornography addiction workgroup.