New non-negotiable things men asked for before

Now, I don’t know about the rest of you, but if I had to describe my dating life in 2024, I could sum it up in one word: situational.

In fact, to be fair, I could push it to 2023…ah, well, and 2022. How I long for the days when you go on a few dates with a guy and then he sits you down, looks deeply into your eyes (or maybe looks down shyly), and formally asks you if you want to be his girlfriend.

Oh, the romantic awkwardness of it all. I miss those days.

So imagine my shock when one day, while I was sitting at lunch, my friend dropped a bombshell that made me stop drinking martinis. She revealed she had been dating a man for a few weeks and he proposed.

no no That Question – In this day and age, this question is the equivalent of asking someone to be your girlfriend.

He asked her to get tested for STDs so they could have sex without a condom.

My first thought: oops!

My second: Is this what dating is about?

It feels transactional, clinical, and, let’s face it, a little unsexy. But after my second (okay, third) drink, I started to see the method behind the madness.

This is not just a health issue. This is a modern love letter. Essentially, he’s saying, “I’m ready to stop sleeping with other people, and I want you to do the same.” (Well, actually, that’s what he said.)

This is the new, “weird” code of commitment.

In a world where we often have to arm-wrestle with a man to put on a condom, or deal with ridiculous “but I’m allergic to them” lame excuses, this man asking his lover to take a quick swab test is actually quite Romance…right?

I mean, swiping on a dating app can cause you to fall asleep faster than you can say “herpes,” so we should all be paying more attention to our game when it comes to testing.

This person is at the forefront and is worthy of being a revolutionary people. Revolutionary!

Okay, okay – I got carried away.

But here’s the thing: She’s not ready for that kind of commitment. In fact, she was also dating another man, who was certainly not boyfriend material, but boy, could that man bring her earth-shattering orgasms?

So, the answer to “stable” is Nobut…

In the spirit of safety—and because sudden curiosity got the better of her—she went and bought one. We laughed when she revealed it really was like the scene in Sex and the City where Samantha faints in the doctor’s office while waiting for her results.

Suddenly, you find yourself looking back at your dating history and freaking out. Been there, done that.

Regardless, I’m happy to report that she is safe.

Not too happy to report: She told him they would still wear condoms, and it took her some time to decide if she wanted to take him seriously. At least she has proper safe sex etiquette.

However, asking someone to get an STD test is a green flag wrapped in a latex-free bow. So, I kind of like that this might be a trend—and a big step forward in modern dating.

I mean, it’s not just about safe sex, and we’re very supportive of that. This conversation separates men from boys. Asking someone to get tested requires vulnerability, trust, and—let’s be honest—courage.

It’s the antidote to ghosting, breadcrumbs, and all the other malapropisms we’ve become accustomed to.

You could almost say it’s accountability on steroids.

Look, I admit this is not the kind of story you would tell your grandchildren. (“He wooed me with flowers and lab applications!”)

But maybe it’s time we stop romanticizing relationships to the point of dysfunction.

Love is more than just candlelight dinners and butterflies; it’s about the tough, unsexy conversations that pave the way for the real thing.

So don’t roll your eyes or clutch your pearls if your man brings up the big new question.

explain Yes.

Get tested together, and have a celebratory drink after the test, toasting to responsibility, maturity and, dare I say it, a future without condoms.

Because in 2024, this might be the sexiest way to say “I choose you.”

The dating world has definitely gone crazy, but in this case, that’s what I’m here for!