Managing Sex with ADHD | Aldult Toys Blog

Although everyone’s brain works differently, brain functions, behaviors, and processing patterns are generally expected to meet certain norms dictated by society. Those who deviate from these parameters, whether slightly or drastically, can be classified as neurodivergentNeurodivergence can include a wide range of conditions, including attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

ADHD is generally defined as a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by high levels of inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity. While children with ADHD who failed to behave in class were once the talk of the town, recent years have seen a growing awareness of how the disorder can impair adult life experiences.

Sex, for example.

How ADHD Can Affect Sexual Experience

Research suggests that about 40% of people with ADHD will experience some form of sexual challenge.

If you have ADHD, you may have experienced the following sexual problems at one time or another:

A wandering mind. You may have trouble paying attention when having sex, in the middle of foreplayor when cuddly. If you’re with a partner, he may interpret this as a lack of interest. Your distraction may also make it difficult to reach orgasm – some women report not being able to reach orgasm at all sometimes even with prolonged stimulation, while other times they are able to have many orgasms in rapid succession.

Mood swingsMood swings and hypersensitivity are common and can impact your libido and relationships. Certain sensations, like touch, may feel overstimulating. You may enjoy a certain sex act one moment, only to decide you don’t like it. You may want to cuddle one day, but be turned off by it the next. You may also find sex acts that feel good to your partner boring or unpleasant.

High libido. Studies show that People with ADHD report higher libido than participants in the control groups. If your libido is very high, you may experience compulsive sexual thoughts or behaviorsan obsession with porn, and/or desire divergences with your sexual partner.

Low libido. Alternatively, your libido may dropAfter all, sex is no different than other activities that present challenges for people with ADHD. Executive dysfunction (a behavioral symptom of ADHD that interferes with your ability to manage your thoughts, emotions, and actions), can make you feel like initiating sex is too much effort. You may also sometimes feel understimulated, as if sex has lost its novelty.

Side effects of medications. Some medications, like antidepressantswhich are sometimes used to treat ADHD, can also be a cause of low libido, as can other commonly used drugsas Ritalinwhich can also cause frequent or painful erections, and priapism in men (when an erection is maintained for several hours). Priapism is a fairly rare and serious side effect that requires immediate medical attention.

Risky sexual behaviorsPeople with ADHD often have lower levels of brain chemicals called neurotransmitters, which make them more likely to be impulsive and take risks, such as having unprotected sex. While not everyone with ADHD is attracted to risk, it’s important to understand that at some point, you may feel drawn to sexual acts that aren’t safe or healthy.

Anger and lonelinessADHD can make you susceptible to feeling angry or lonely, which can in turn be draining and decrease your interest in sex. Coupled with mood swings or a lack of focus during conversations, both of which can make arguments with your partner more likely, it’s easy to get stuck in a kind of loop of anger and loneliness.

How to Live Your Best Sex Life with ADHD

Take your medication correctly. Up to 80% of people with ADHD also have another mental health condition such as anxiety, depression, personality disorders, and substance abuse issues. These conditions and their treatment can affect ADHD, and vice versa, so be sure to discuss your medications and your mental health Talk to your doctor about it. The good news: Most ADHD medications don’t hurt your libido. In fact, they can help you focus and keep risky impulses at bay, which can improve your sex life. If you find that taking your medication closer to when you have sex (i.e., in the evening) helps you stay in the zone, you can ask your doctor about splitting your dose between morning and early afternoon. Of course, if you find that your medication isn’t working for you, you can talk to your doctor about that, too. East affecting your libido, don’t hesitate to talk to your doctor about changing it!

Communicate, communicate, communicate. Cultivate open and honest communication There are countless benefits to having sex with your partner. Let your partner know about your ADHD symptoms and how they may manifest during sex, so they know it’s not a sign of disinterest. Also, let your partner know what you like, what you’d like to try, and what state of mind you’re in—you know, in the heat of the moment. Being direct about your feelings can help avoid arguments and misunderstandings. Not to mention, strong communication can help foster trust, intimacy, and an incredibly exciting sex life!

Exercise. Regular physical activity can help you focus, increase your neurotransmitter levels, and alleviate your symptoms, helping you enjoy intimacy with fewer distractions and unruly impulses getting in the way.

Get rid of distractions. Eliminate distractions that are Things you can control (for example, a leaky faucet, dim or bright lighting, the TV or music) can help you keep your attention on the sensations of the present moment and the person you are sharing it with. You can try calming exercises together, such as yoga, deep breathing or a tantric approach to sex. Make sex dates can also help you ensure you devote the time and attention needed to enjoy yourself as a couple.

Consider therapy. The right therapist can help you learn skills to better communicate with your partner, both in and out of the bedroom. You (and your partner) can also benefit from talking with a sexologistor a couples counselor.

If your partner has ADHD

Encourage them to get a diagnosis. If you suspect your partner has ADHD but haven’t been diagnosed, you can try gently encouraging them to see a trained professional. A professional can help your partner learn more about ADHD, discover how symptoms affect their life and relationships, learn skills to better manage symptoms, and find appropriate treatment options.. While your support may encourage them to contact you, keep in mind that ultimately it is their choice.

Be sensitive to their needs. If your partner has ADHD, try to be attentive to his needs. For example, you can turn off the lights and avoid using lotions or perfumes if he is sensitive to light or strong smells during sex.

Working on communication. Communication problems can create problems any of them relationship, but they can be even more common in relationships affected by ADHD. If your partner is forgetful, inattentive, or distracted, you may feel neglected, ignored, or disrespected. Although this is 100% It is important to express your feelings, try to avoid doing so in an accusatory or critical way.

Suggest couples therapy or sex therapy. It can be difficult to stay in tune with your partner’s needs and stay emotionally grounded in the face of their behaviors, because chances are you’re a human being with your own issues. Many couples struggling with ADHD benefit greatly from couples therapy and sex therapy. The right therapist can help you and your partner navigate your unique challenges…together, baby.