If Eurovision Acts Were Sex Toys…

With seven Eurovision victories, Sweden has brought us hit after hit. They get you dancing whether, it’s ABBA, ‘Heroes’ by Måns Zelmerlöw from 2015, or two-times winner Loreen.

You can count on Sweden for a good time, so they are the Bondara Purple Pleaser. They’re a classic for a reason! Of course, if you’re after some Swedish luxury, why not check out our stock of LELO sex toys?

Ireland understands the power of two. Not only did Ireland give us the iconic twin-act Jedward, but who can forget Mr Eurovision himself, Johnny Logan, the first performer to win Eurovision twice!

For that reason, Ireland has to be represented by the Bondara Full Up. Double your pleasure, or share it with a friend; with 10 vibrating settings, you’ll get your fill.

Australia… a Butt Plug

If there’s something you can bet on more than France sending a ballad, it’s someone complaining, “Australia isn’t in Europe!”. However, as soon as the Aussies take the stage, like last year’s Voyager, you can’t help but love them!

These wonders from down under are the Bondara After Party. Its LED lights and vibrating rhythms are perfect for when the show starts. Plus, it’s ideal for the uninitiated who doubt they’ll enjoy using a butt plug,

Finland… a Monster

Lordi’s winning performance in 2006 by the band’s larger-than-life show blew audiences away. Monster-makeup, pyrotechnics, and platform shoes that would make a Spice Girl cower, Finland could only be one of The Monsters.

Not only does the Godfeather match their creepy costumes, but also the BDE that Finland brings to the contest every year. Sure, the first time might be intimidating, but embrace the fantasy and the only way is up.

Iceland is that odd outsider you can’t predict. One year they send cartoon jumper-clad Daði Freyr, and then another there’s Hatari.

On the surface, they’re sweeties, but they’re hiding a dark side. That’s why I’ve chosen the Bondara Luxe Sugar Rush Handcuffs to represent Iceland. If you think they need more restraints, there’s the whole Sugar Rush 7 Piece Set too.