How to use the no contact rule after a breakup.

What is the no-contact rule?

As the name suggests, it is a period immediately after a breakup when you cut off all forms of communication with your ex in order to speed up the healing process.

This is necessary and one of the most effective ways to get over a heartbreak. Following the no contact rule is in line with the proverbial “out of sight, out of mind.”

Many times, what keeps people stuck in heartbreak for so long is the memories they have with their ex. Some memories are so strong that they can’t get over them quickly enough.

These unforgettable memories are often the result of constant communication in a relationship. That’s why the no contact rule is often designed as the best strategy for overcoming a serious heartbreak and healing quickly.

The biggest challenge, however, is mustering the courage to adopt this approach. The stronger the relationship, the more difficult it is to adopt this strategy.

I know you’re wondering how to cut off contact with someone you once had great memories with and spent your life with? It seems impossible, right? Even if you try, you’ll eventually reach out to them again and you can’t resist the urge.

What’s worse is that you have their phone number. Even if you try to delete their contact details, you still have it in your mind.

At some point you just wish they would be in your life again and you just wish you could reconcile whatever differences or issues you had and get back together. I understand all of this, we all go through it, but the good news is that it is possible and it is doable.

You just need to take some effective steps to achieve positive results.

Besides helping you get over your ex, the no contact rule has other benefits that make it worth giving it a try.

The benefits of a no contact rule.

It increases your worth and self-esteem.

Unfortunately, most people lose their self-esteem by exhibiting this behavior after hearing the words “it’s all over.”

They cry, plead, beg constantly, and engage in all sorts of strange behavior, including bombarding their ex’s phone with calls and texts and stalking her everywhere.

This behavior can be humiliating and embarrassing for the person exhibiting it, and most of the time, it is not done consciously, but on impulse. You end up doing things you never thought or imagined you would do. When you do this, the rejection you receive can be very painful. It can be devastating when you finally realize that you lost whatever respect they had for you in order to win them back.

This realization can be more painful than the heartbreak itself. I know you’re wondering how you can find yourself again after you’ve lost the relationship. I want to assure you that all hope is not lost. There is no need to use any contact methods at this time.

There is a tendency that once you stop bugging them, they might miss you not being around, but this is not a given, just a possibility.

The main purpose of no contact at this time is to regain confidence.

It helps in self-actualization.

Most of the time, people get into unrequited relationships without knowing it.

They try their best and communicate often but receive nothing in return, yet when they break up, they realize that it was never a romantic relationship but a situational one. The no contact rule will let you know if the relationship is mutual or one-sided.

Whatever the reason was for the breakup, if you really want to know if you love each other and if they miss you, stop communicating and follow the no contact rule. If they don’t initiate contact, then it’s time to move on instead of holding out hope that they might come back.

This is a moment of self-realization. You will understand that you deserve better than someone who makes you feel like you are just an option. You deserve mutual love, not one-sided love.

It induces discipline.

Stopping stalking your ex, or stopping those weird post-breakup behaviors like bombarding their phone and showing up wherever they might be, is an act of victory, and it takes a lot of discipline to do it.

Maybe you did all of these things in your past relationships that you regret. Now is the time to accept change and make adjustments for the better. Adopting a no contact rule will help you in your next relationship so that you don’t make the same mistakes as in your last one. It will help you maintain your self-esteem and avoid coming off as overly dependent and desperate.

So how can we implement the no-contact rule?

How to Use the No Contact Rule After a Breakup

Determined.

The first step to resisting the urge to contact your ex is to make the decision not to contact them. This decision is entirely yours.

You must first accept that the relationship is over and that you need to move on. Hoping to get back with them will make your efforts pointless. When you realize that moving on is your best and last option, severing contact will become easier and more feasible.

Distract yourself.

Whenever you feel the urge to contact your ex, try to distract yourself with other worthwhile activities.

That is why you need to boost your social life, make new friends regularly, expand your circle, hang out with like-minded people, and attend social gatherings and events where you might meet people who share your interests or similar views. By doing this, you will minimize the thoughts you have about your ex and even stop having the urge to contact them.

Get rid of the constant reminders of them.

What often triggers the urge to contact an ex are memories you shared in the past that come to mind when you remember something remarkable about them. These memories might be pictures of you together, gifts they bought you, places you visited together.

The best way to resist these is to eliminate any reminders. Delete their pictures, discard gifts or throw them away, avoid places you have been together until you are separated. They say out of sight, out of mind, and by working on overcoming the physical aspect, you can also overcome the mental and emotional aspects.

Stop tracking.

Tracking is another big challenge many people face when trying to get out of trouble.

Curiosity is always a part of human existence, and sometimes, the desire to know what your ex is doing can be overwhelming.

However, when you make up your mind to occupy your thoughts and time with more reasonable things, everything will become easier.

Realize that continuing to follow them or trying to find out anything about them since their breakup will do you no good personally. It will also not have any positive impact on your life.

What would you do if you stalked them and found out they were with someone else? What would you do if you stalked them and found out they were doing just fine without you?

You get even angrier, right? Before you know it, you’re back to your old annoying habits of constant calling and texting. This is costing you your self-esteem all over again. When you get the urge to stalk them, try engaging in your favorite hobby.

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