How to Talk to Your Partner About Watching Porn Together |

The pandemic has led to a dramatic increase in the amount of porn people watch, which is hardly surprising, right? Pornhub reported a huge increase in traffic, and OnlyFans saw a 75% bump—need I say more? This makes the question of how to approach the subject of watching porn with your partner more relevant than ever.

Whether you’re living with your long-term partner who you’ve gotten to know more intimately than you ever imagined over the past year and a half, or you’re hooking up with a more recently acquired lover, porn is a worthy topic of discussion. There’s nothing wrong with your sexual repertoire as it is, especially if you’re both satisfied, but even mind-altering sex can start to feel routine. Think of porn as one of the many ways you can try to “spice things up” or “try new things.” Costumes and BDSM are always there to play with, too! But the beauty of porn is that all you have to do is watch. Watch and be inspired. And remember: the point of watching porn together isn’t to compare yourself or copy what you see, but to spark steamy conversations about what you’d each like to explore.

But let’s not pretend that it’s easy to broach the subject of porn in a relationship. Sure, for some it is, but for many it’s a topic comparable to war and peace in the Middle East. In fact, they’re two topics you’d better make sure you’re on the same page about. While it might seem a little weird to think about what your partner likes to do (apart from you), or what they might think about the content that turns you on in private, shared porn can actually bring you closer together—and make you hornier than you ever thought possible.

If you want to talk to your partner about watching porn but aren’t sure where to start, here are some helpful tips:

Know thyself.

Before you ask your partner if they want to watch porn with you, ask yourself if it’s a good fit for your relationship. The best way to assess this is to ask yourself Why You want to watch porn with your partner. This may seem obvious, but break it down a bit. Do you want it to bring you closer together? Do you hope it will spark stronger communication about your deepest fantasies and desires—and theirs? Do you simply want to change things up? The more you know the answers to your questions, the better you’ll be able to communicate them to your partner.

Get to know each other’s desires.

If you’ve never had an open and honest conversation with your partner about sex, you might want to do that before jumping into a conversation about watching porn. They may have no idea that you like porn to begin with. Try starting the porn conversation by making sex and lust a more normal topic of conversation. Talk about what you like in bed, for example. This will help you better understand each other’s hot spots and may give you a better idea of ​​whether they’re open to watching porn with you. Plus, it’ll come up a lot less unexpectedly when you do bring it up.

Choose a time without pressure.

Avoid bringing up the topic of watching porn too forcefully, such as when you are in the middle of it, as this could ruin the moment. Avoid suggesting it as an activity for right this secondif you know what I mean. Bring it up in a way that gives your partner time to think about it and respond. If you’re shy about bringing it up yourself, you can do it indirectly by asking them what they think about porn, or telling them you read an article about couples watching porn together, and asking them what they think. If you’re absolutely sure that insecurity won’t be an issue for your partner and that they’ll be interested, you can also simply say, “I was thinking we could watch something together,” or “I wanted to show you something that turns me on.”

Discuss what types of porn you like and don’t like.

If you talk about it and (yeah!) your partner East If you want to watch porn together, the next step is to discuss what type of porn you both like to watch. Talk about your interests, likes, and dislikes, and ask your partner what theirs are. Better yet, take it a step further and tell your partner Why you like what you like. Make sure to figure out if there are any sex acts or porn styles that either of you wants to avoid or that you’re unsure about. Figure out if there are any specific scenarios that you both want to watch and go from there. You’re getting closer, baby.

Make it a story between the two of you, not a porn story.

The idea of ​​watching porn together can make some people feel deprioritized (which is totally valid). So when you talk to your partner about watching porn together, Be clear that this is to enhance your sex life and bring you closer together. If you do end up having sex while porn is playing (a very real possibility), focus on your shared pleasure experience with your partner rather than the porn. You won’t learn the intricacies of real-life sex from porn, so never let it serve as a substitute for communicating what feels good and what doesn’t. Remember: There’s no need to recreate these crazy scenarios and positions on screen, unless you’re both really into it, of course. If you are both of you, be super interested in this, approach it with humor and without comparing yourself, because it’s useless.

Final thought: If and when you feel ready and willing to watch porn with your partner, let’s be honest, you will NOT be short of options. That said, ethically sourced porn is always highly appreciated (ahem), so consider giving Bellesa Plus a try, you filthy animals. <3