As a couple or solo, sex toys can enhance the enjoyment of all participants. But it is one thing Enjoy a mind-blowing orgasm by yourself—no holds barred— and it’s a whole other story to incorporate sex toys into a sexual relationship with your partner (another human being!). While for some, introducing sex toys is a no-brainer to add variety/depth to an experience, others fear that sex toys will replace them. And still others feel weird about using them, just because. Some may even have trauma related to using a sex toy. At the end of the day, we all have some reservations about our bodies and/or sexual habits and that’s okay.
If your partner is definitely not open to using sex toys, there is nothing you can do to convince or coerce him, because consent Love should always be at the forefront of any sexual relationship. If incorporating sex toys is a priority for you and is a concern, it may still be best to try to revisit the discussion at a later date.
If your partner East open to discussion, consider the following ways to help them feel more comfortable using sex toys together!
Talk about it
There is never a substitute for sharpening communication with your loverHave an open and honest conversation about all the amazing events reasons to explore using sex toys together. Take some of the pressure off both of you to reach orgasm by using hands, mouth, and/or penetrative sex, for example. Sex toys can also help unlock all sorts of fantasiesin case this little fact catches your partner’s interest. Explain why You If you’re interested and what you’re hoping to achieve, discuss overlapping interests and desires, as well as conflicting interests and desires. Discuss potential trade-offs. Overall, everyone needs different things to climax, and sometimes those things we need change from week to week…or even hour to hour. Note: This conversation can involve some reassurance, like letting him know why he’s a great lover and making him understand that toys aren’t competition. Be sure to listen to any concerns, opinions, or fears your partner may have and do your best to address them. Bonus tip: Try to avoid having this discussion before, during, or immediately after sex. Instead, pick a time when the moment isn’t inherently hot and go from there.
Share your solo sex toy experience
Discussing the introduction of sex toys into your sexual relationship is a golden opportunity to share any solo sex toy experiences you may have (if you haven’t already), and have your partner do the same. Tip: It can be really sexy to propose a demonstration of how you use your favorite sex toy on yourself—and again, it’s entirely possible that your partner uses a toy on themselves when they’re alone and might enjoy replicating it for you. When you have the revelation of previously unshared pleasure as your starting point, it’s hard to predict how your shared arousal might organically unfold in any number of magical directions.
Choose the right toy…together
If your partner East If you want to explore the potential of toys, try not to dictate what that will look like. When choosing the right toy to start with, choose something that both you and your partner are comfortable with. Consider the size, shape, and type of toy, and look for something that fits both your and your partner’s needs and desires. You can explore, for example, sex toys for couples as the Luvli Ditto 2which allows you to stimulate two partners at once during penetrative sex (and it comes with a remote control, to boot!), or the Halo 2, aka a vibrating cock ring sent from heaven. Or maybe you’re drawn to more traditional vibrators: after all, there are plenty of creative ways to use the Goddess Soft Touch or the Push. Of course, if one or both of you are up for the experience. anal playBellesa’s Anal Training Kit or Tush are both great options. Are you both on the kinky side? We’ve got you covered with handcuffs, a blindfold, and a whip. You can also try out different toys together to gradually decide what works best: the journey is the destination, after all, and the journey can be a lot of pleasure.
Be really open and patient
Introducing sex toys can be intimidating for some people, so it’s important to take it slow and resist any sense of urgency. Remember that everyone is comfortable with using sex toys at different levels, so being patient and encouraging can be very helpful, as can being open about where your shared exploration takes you. Encourage your partner to share their thoughts and feelings about the things you’re trying together, and be sure to share yours as well. Regardless, keep talking about the types of sensations you both enjoy or want to explore and how you might see toys playing into the foreplay and/or intercourse you’re already having. Encourage each other to think outside the box (i.e., beyond genital stimulation/penetrative sex). Eventually, from a place of shared understanding, you can begin to dive more fully into toys together.
Whatever the results of your shared foray into the wet and wild world of sex toys, be sure to keep the lines of communication with your partner open, so that you both feel completely comfortable asking questions and concerns, expressing or changing your preferences, and freely reporting changes in your general mood.
Good game everyone !