Menopause is when menstrual periods Menstruation stops for good and the pregnancy period closes. Caused by changes in reproductive hormone levels, menopause usually occurs between the ages of 47 and 54, but for some it happens earlier and for others later. There is no universal truth here. You generally know you are menopausal once you have gone 12 consecutive months without having a period.
Although menopause is a perfectly natural biological process, its symptoms, which can include a decrease in libido— can really pull the rug out from under you. While not all women experience a decrease in libido (some even experience an increase), it is very common. One study found that while 42% of women experienced sexual dysfunction early in life, perimenopausal stage (the years before menopause), 88% of women They faced the same problem a few years later when they were going through menopause.
While the symptoms and severity of menopause vary greatly, it shows how common the problem is and how important it is to break down the stigma surrounding it. Just because you’re going through menopause doesn’t mean you have to give up the sex life you want.
Why does menopause decrease your libido?
Menopause is linked to a decrease in libido for many reasons.
In most cases, a decrease in libido during menopause is due to a decrease in hormone levels. With the decrease in testosterone and estrogen, arousal may be less straightforward. The decrease in hormones can also mean less sensation, which can decrease sexual desire.
Lower hormone levels can also lead to vaginal dryness and tightness due to reduced hydration. This in turn can lead to a loss of elasticity, making the fragile tissues more likely to thin and tear. This can cause discomfort or pain and even slight bleeding during sex, which naturally makes you less likely to have sex.
Other symptoms of menopause can also make you less interested in sex. These include: depression, mood swings, weight gainAnd hot flashes, to name a few.
Fortunately, there are many effective treatments available, and it’s largely a matter of figuring out what works best for you.
What can you do about it?
1. Don’t force it.
Despite what the mainstream media would have you believe, sex in recent years has beenit is not always so desirable For everyone else, it’s the same as before. According to Chris Kraft of Johns Hopkins Medicine, “About a third of long-term couples don’t have sex or only have it occasionally. But they don’t necessarily see it as a problem. It’s just that their relationship has evolved. They’re doing other intimate things they enjoy, like cuddling, sharing a bed, and laughing together. And they’re happy.” If you don’t want sex as much anymore and you’re happy about it, ask yourself if you’re feeling pressure from a partner or society in general.
2. Don’t give up.
That said, wanting to have an active and adventurous sex life regardless of age is sexy, healthy, and 100% your prerogative—don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! If you’re motivated to get back in the saddle (or stay there), try a gradual, exploratory approach with no pressure and plenty of foreplay or extended solo sessionsIf you experience pain or discomfort during intercourse, consider seeing a pelvic floor therapist—they can recommend Kegel exercises to strengthen your pelvic muscles and improve sensation, or a dilator kit to help you rebuild your tolerance for penetration. Your body is not broken, it just needs more attention to achieve its goals!
3. Don’t rush.
There is no magic formula that dictates how long it takes to become aroused and/or reach orgasm. This is a truth that people of all ages need to hear. Enjoy the journey! Give yourself all the time you need to get aroused. Preliminaries can and should be as creative as you want. From sensual touch to massage, while reading Or listen to eroticism, or to watch feminist and ethical pornThe possibilities are endless. Take the time to (re)discover what turns you on. And if your partner is pressuring you, it may warrant a more serious discussion about priorities.
4. Lubricate as desired.
Especially if you suffer from irritation or chafing related to dryness, water based lubricants and more sustainable silicone based lubricants can make penetration less painful. Choosing the Best Lubricant for Your Needs It is important to ensure you get the most out of the product(s) you choose. Vaginal moisturizers are another option. While lubricants are applied just before or during intercourse, moisturizers can be applied at any time and are meant to be used regularly over a longer period of time.
5. Be healthy.
Although it is not limited to the menopause period of your life, eat a nutritious diet can keep your libido happy and get enough exercise can increase your cortisol, estrogenlevels of prolactin, oxytocin, serotonin and testosterone, all hormones that play a key role in your sex life. Testosteronefor example, plays an important role in sexual desire, regardless of gender: more of this substance tends to make you more aroused.
6. Try new things.
Your body is changing and so are your desires. Think of menopause as the perfect excuse (even if you don’t need one) to try new things. sex toysnew positionsnew approaches (i.e. tantric sex), or new game types (i.e., Roleplay, board game, slaveryOr BDSM (more generally). Maybe a new all-powerful vibrator is just what the doctor ordered to remedy your reduced sensitivity. Maybe intimacy for its own sake is becoming more central to your desire—if so, remember that sex isn’t the only way to feel close to your partner. Kissing, caressing, cuddlyand other non-sexual acts can actually help boost your libido by deepening your connection.
7. Talk to a doctor.
If all else fails, talk to a doctor. hormone replacement therapy (HRT). Estrogen in the form of pills, creams, or vaginal rings can help reduce vaginal dryness and atrophy by replacing the hormones your body no longer produces, while testosterone can help increase your libido. There are serious potential risks, however, so it’s important to discuss them in detail with a healthcare professional before going down this route.
Bottom line: No matter what situation you’re going through, keep the lines of communication open with your partner (and yourself!). Share what you’re going through, both physically and emotionally. After all, feeling closer to your partner can be exciting. And if need be, there’s no shame in talking to a therapist, whether you’re alone or with a partner.
Your beautiful and ever-evolving sex life awaits you. <3