How to Introduce Toys to a New Partner | Aldult Toys Blog

If you have ever used a sex toyyou’ll probably agree: they’re fabulous and full of possibilities. But while many don’t hesitate to break out the toys for a solo session, introducing sex toys into a relationship tends to arouse a little more hesitation. This is a shame, because they can open up new worlds of pleasure for everyone.

Fact: Toys can do things our bodies can’t, like vibrate and pulsate in different patterns. These unique sensations are the difference-makers that help many people have more consistent, more frequent, and better orgasms.

Even if you’re only occasionally inspired to use toys, just having them around can help maintain an element of adventure and novelty in long-term relationships. That being said, there’s absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t introduce them to a brand-new partner. Hell, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t introduce them to a one night stand! No matter how long you’ve known your lover, adding the right toy(s) to the equation can only expand your sex life.

But at the same time taboos on sex toys Feelings have diminished considerably, but many still fear that bringing up the subject of toys in bed will not be entirely well received by their partner(s).

Consider the following handy guide for introducing toys to a new partner.

Normalize sexual communication.

It’ll be easier to introduce sex toys (or anything else that might turn you on) into your relationship if you and your partner already have regular conversations about sex. Telling your partner what they do that works for you can be a good segue into a deeper discussion on the topic. All. After all, honest communication is essential for a hot sexual relationship. Even if it’s a one-night stand, what could be more exciting than sharing what turns you on and asking your partner what turns them on? After all, one-night stands are always a chance for both of you to satisfy your sexual needs.

As a clinical psychologist and sexologist Christopher Ryan Jones the dishTalking openly about sex and sexual preferences “can increase intimacy and provide an opportunity for each of you to better understand what feels best for you sexually.”

Choose your moment

Unless you know your new partner likes toys, don’t bring out your toys in the heat of the moment, as this can create pressure or stir up insecurities in some people. Ideally, you should set aside time for not having sex to discuss sex toys. Of course, if it’s a one-night stand, a quick “what do you think about toys?” may suffice. If you know you won’t see them again, you may feel more bold in your suggestions. Ultimately, consent it’s always the main thing!

While some may think it’s wise to wait until a few dates or until your partner feels like they know how to please you without toys (which begs the question: who says it’s wrong to need toys?), Carol Queen, sexologist emphasizes that many find this conversation much easier to start in a new relationship, as this is often the point at which people are already openly discussing their sexual preferences. Still, not everyone feels comfortable discussing their preferences right from the start, or even at all. If you’re very shy but know that toys play a big part in your pleasure, consider introducing it as an idea you discovered in an article or during a discussion with a friend.

Don’t link toys to a sexual defect

In other words, let the suggestion of sex toys be a positive, enthusiastic attitude, sexy an idea that can excite you both, rather than something that needs to happen to improve a sex life that is somehow lacking, or worse, performance that is not up to par.

This makes not This means that you should not communicate openly and honestly about all the things that turn you on. And But if you want to gently introduce toys (or any new item) into your sexual repertoire, it’s usually more effective to talk about what’s hot about them rather than what’s not hot without them. It is especially relevant if your partner is working on building their sexual confidence.

Think, Understood exploration

Try to approach it from an inclusive perspective: sex toys are just one of the many delicious experiences you can try. together to see what you both like. Discuss what types of sensations you both enjoy or want to try and how you might see toys helping you explore all of that. After all, there’s probably a thing (or ten) you could learn about pleasure from your partner, too.

Did I mention that sex toys are extremely diverse these days? There’s something for every gender, not to mention… toys specially designed for couples. The introduction of toys should be aimed at increasing the pleasure for all. Perhaps your partner will have fun simply watching how your the pleasure deepens with a new powerful atmosphere. Or maybe they’ll want to play too.

Show and tell

If you’ve purchased the toy you want to introduce to your partner, you can offer a demonstration in bed where you show them how you use it on yourself, perhaps even inviting them to join in the fun. Sometimes, a sexy demonstration is all it takes to successfully communicate why something is a fabulous idea.

You may also want to buy new sex toys together. After all, you have a unique dynamic and each other’s desires. Why shouldn’t your toys reflect that? Bonus: Researching and buying toys can be a huge turn-on and gives you a chance to show and tell together while creating mutual enthusiasm.

Bonus tip: clean toys are sexy!

Keeping your sex toys clean is essential to enjoying them! Neglecting to wash your toy, using the wrong lube, or storing it incorrectly can damage it or cause it to harbor bacteria, which can lead to an infection—and there’s nothing exciting about that, my friends. How you sterilize your toys depends on the material they’re made of. Here’s a practical guide on how to properly clean your sex toysIt is also best to consult the packaging for specific cleaning instructions and precautions.

If you or your partner already own a toy that you’re excited to try together, discuss with your new partner whether or not you’re comfortable reusing it. Even with a one-night stand, it’s absolutely necessary to get consent before pulling out a used toy. While some people are comfortable using used toys if they’re properly sterilized, others find it odd or disrespectful to use the same toy with multiple partners.

Bottom line: Introducing sex toys into a new relationship can and should be exciting! Do it with openness, honesty, and a touch of humor, and you can’t go wrong. Just be prepared for the possibility that your partner won’t be on the same page, and most importantly, keep the conversation going!