How often should you “really” text someone you’re dating?

In today’s world of digital dating, the biggest romantic difficulty for singles may not be the person they date, but the frequency of texting.

From Reddit threads to relationship coaches, the consensus is clear: no one knows what the rules are.

It turns out that there is no solution of a certain size when it comes to SMS etiquette.

But experts (and a handful of worn fighters) are elucidating how to browse the messaging minefield.

In the so-called “talk phase” of dating (the fuzzy barrier between matches and meetings), Dr. Darcey N. Powell, professor of psychology, said.

“When dating, the information shared is shared less information, less physical behavior to the partner, and less commitment to the partner,” Powell explained in an interview with Mashable.

It’s a tricky balancing act: “Try to protect yourself because you’re not sure what will happen, but people are not good at breaking up with each other or being rejected.”

A Harvard study found that 94% of millennials admitted to having text-related anxiety.

“High communication [constant exchanges] Sociologist Caitlin Begg is based on a mixable way, rather than meaningful in-person contact. ”

Sending a text may raise expectations – but it also builds fantasy.

“We learn about a person and our brains do the rest,” Dater Georgie, 24, told the site. “This is a romantic picture of a person who doesn’t exist.”

For example: “I used to be very excited about my first date because we’ve been texting for weeks and I thought he was fun,” she said. “The date lasted 26 minutes.”

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There is no alternative to real-life connection, says psychologist Dr. Nikki Coleman. “You have to know someone in 3D – in the wild, outside – to be able to make intimate relationships. Until you really know someone this way, you really have a relationship with fantasy.”

So, what are the rules? No.

“People love to offer ‘work’ dating rules,” Begg told the publication. “But the reality is messy. It means finding someone who aligns with your communication style is key.”

What if they don’t? move on.

“I recommend that people be honest and direct about the amount of communication they need and get rid of connections that cannot meet those needs.” Sex and relationship educator Melissa Fabello also revealed to Mashable.

Ultimately, 2025’s digital courting is about finding your rhythm – and recognizing that even the perfect text thread doesn’t guarantee IRL Sparks.

Because the difference between “He is a man” and “He is a fool” may be just 43 unread texts and dates that last less than half an hour.