I recently bought a toy, but my boyfriend doesn’t like it. How can I let him have access to it? Should I just take it out?
How do I introduce toys to my strict boyfriend?
10
Aug
I recently bought a toy, but my boyfriend doesn’t like it. How can I let him have access to it? Should I just take it out?
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Tell him you want a DP
Lick his asshole, then insert realistic dildo. He’ll love it.
What kind of couple are you?
And what does he like is he someone who wants to gain experience something or is he the type of person to give the experience.
I might propose to start with something small.
Buy a good vibrator, then make him sit/lay tight as you pleasure yourself. He’ll be horny as hell!
this had better been him not wanting to use the dildo on his own ass… You can fucking do whatever you want to your body… If he doesn’t want you to use toys on your body get rid of him.
Dig into why he feels that way. If he wants to be okay with them and is just *uncomfortable* with their presence on some visceral subconscious level (hey, we all got spoonfed some sex-negative purity culture shit at a foundational age, I get it), then exposure therapy is a great starter. Talk to him about going through different stages of involvement: leaving the toys out on the nightstand during play, handling them in a nonsexual context, taking photos with them, using them for nonsexual or non-penetrative purposes (like using a vibrator for a neck massage), and so on. Humor can help dispel the awkwardness about using toys together— floppy suction cup dildos can lead to some hilarious slapstick.
If that discomfort comes from some deeply-held personal beliefs about sex, sexuality, and phallocentrism…. that’s a much harder nut to crack. In that case he needs to work on that by himself. Get therapy, read books, all of that.
And if he doesn’t want to work on it, yeah I wouldn’t stick around. Sex is at its most fun when all participants are GGG— good, giving, and game.
Woman, if you’re with a guy who doesn’t care about your needs/your pleasure… You’re with the wrong guy.
Just be straightforward and honest. Start by having a direct conversation about why you got the toy and how it can enhance your relationship. Explain that it’s something you’re excited about and that it’s meant to be a fun, new experience for both of you. Don’t just whip it out—set the stage with a clear discussion so he understands your intentions and feels involved in the decision.
So I host saw your context comment. I don’t think you should host bring it out for a numerous reasons. I also wouldn’t lead with a dildo. Most men that are against toys are like that because they feel inadequate. Having a dildo as the first sex toy is just going to make him feel more inadequate.
You should talk to him and try and find out why he’s against sex toys. Try by suggesting something very vanilla like a blindfold and comment subtly that the blindfold is used to amplify your other senses. That’s the same thing as sex toys, a way to amplify the already present sex senses.
See how he reacts to that and go from there to see what sex toys he might be alright with in the bedroom.
Why is he against it? Has he told you? Because depending on the why the advice is wildly different. If he’s someone who has misogynistic views like “toys ruin the vagina so that dick isn’t good enough for them” then I just wouldn’t mention it to him. If it’s an insecurity issue that’s a thing he needs to work on. But if it’s like a religious issue or maybe even a trauma issue that’s a whole other story.
Toys are teammates, not competition. And you don’t need someone who sees a silicone toy as a threat in your life.
i guess it would depend on the type of toy and why hes against them. my fiancee gets a tad jealous of my dildos, hes old fashion and thinks i’ll get ‘stretched out’ and i won’t prefer him just cause its bigger , hes more ‘ok’ with smaller models tho i found them harder to use ( i’m a big girl’ and length/aiming can be an issue when they’re shorter speaking nothing of the girth factor. but hes relatively ok with vibs since i tried using my wand on him , so your guy could be similar , without more info its hard to say.
I’d be REAL carful with someone who is so insecure. It’s your pleasure, he should want you to cum.
Get a new one
Buy a pocket pussy to him, and let him feel the pleasure of toys
You have to break the mentality that toys will replace him, or that masturbation and sex are in any way related: they aren’t. One is for pleasure, on is for connection or intimacy. Until he gets over that, you may find sexual hang ups. Time to loosen up.
i remember this stage in our relationship. granted we started dating at 17 and i was/am the sexual-pleasure-toys pal and he isnt. i remember i would tell him that i wamt to own a trunk full of toys & dildos and he’d kinda just “heh…”,*looks away*, says nothing, or would say “not more than a few”. he also used to be against me using a toy during our play time but over time he warmed up and i talked alot about the importance of using a toy and reassuring that i want him to be apart of the sex and that im not gonna replace him. eventually we got to the point where he’s bought us several toys & my current favorite for the last 3 yrs 😍. last week he even reminded me by asking something relative to a sheath and we’re huge nerds so i thought it’d be perfect to get a kobold sheath :3 havent bought it yet but its on my wishlist <3
You know the word strict in that context could mean lots of different things.
Most of them sound controlling. If he doesn’t want you to use toys. He probably doesn’t care about your pleasure.
The right guy will understand that the penis isn’t designed for remake pleasure. It is designed for male pleasure. That female pleasure can be more complex, take more time and more effort and that good sex takes that into account.
Whatever way you choose to introduce this toy. Let him know it is about adding to the pleasure for you .
If he is insecure and thinks his dick isn’t enough, he probably never understood dicks alone are not enough for more than half of all woman.
Which toy?
Are they flat out against any sex toy or a certain type?
Is that the only thing they are strict on?
you keep your toy and get a new BF