Have you ever gaslighted someone you love?

Gaslighting is used to shift the blame for bad behavior onto the victim.

Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that involves giving false information and then insisting that the information is true. Over time, the gaslighter can cause a loved one to feel crazy and question their perception of reality. As recovering sex and porn addicts, most of us think we can’t possibly do this because our partner is too smart to fall for it. But in reality, that’s not the case. This is mostly because our lies start out slow and convincing, like “I’m sorry, honey, but I have to work late tonight and won’t be home until midnight.” Over time, as our lies escalate, our partners grow accustomed to more outrageous stories, like “I told you over breakfast on Friday that I was going to be away on a business trip over the weekend. You must have been half asleep when I told you.” It’s a bit like putting a frog in a pot of warm water and then boiling it. Because the temperature rises so slowly, the innocent frog doesn’t even realize it’s being boiled.

Today’s Task
Think about the lies you’ve told your partner and how those lies have escalated over time.