Experts: Families need time to recover from election clashes

Are you voting on how to approach politics with your loved ones this holiday season?

As the country is divided over the current election, many couples and families are also divided. The intensity of the debate is likely to continue beyond November 5.

After all, Americans today can’t stand a partner not checking the same name as them on the ballot.

According to a recent study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, only about 23% of couples have different party affiliations, and less than 8% of those couples have one Democrat and one Republican.

However, while most couples appear to be united in their political beliefs, that doesn’t mean their family and friends are likely to do the same.

That’s why brides and grooms who are getting married during the upcoming election will have some rules in place – such as no alcohol – or manage their expectations for how and what guests will celebrate during the ceremony.

But uneasiness over political disagreements with loved ones may be more serious than the issue being debated.

“In relationships, dissatisfaction with election results may even reflect or amplify divisions between couples and families,” relationship expert Rita Watson tells Psychology Today.

This is especially timely as we gather or avoid gatherings with loved ones from every generation during the holiday season.

A recent survey by travel market research firm Future Partners showed that about 22% of travelers expect politics to spark family disputes during the holidays this year.

Those who have recently left the children’s table are the most nervous.

About 38% of Gen Z and 29% of Millennial travelers feel anxious about dinner table conversations, compared to just 11% of Baby Boomers.

Some are even canceling holiday family gatherings.

Chirag Panchal, founder of luxury travel agency Ensuite Collection, said one of his clients typically gathers family members from across the country to sit down for Thanksgiving dinner.

“But this year is different,” he told NBC News.

Some tough political conversations have forced kids to express their concerns about bringing everyone together — so they won’t.

“They have canceled plans to go anywhere as a family,” Panchal said.

To help people get through this stressful time with their loved ones, Watson shares some tips for saving your relationship after a heated political debate.

1. Identify the problem or conflict.
2. Evaluate the pros and cons of your feelings about the conflict.
3. Put aside the differences and find common ground.
4. Reflect on the reasons you are grateful for your partner, friend, or family member.
5. Focus on love and gratitude.
6. Think about how you can be comfortable with things, even elections, if they don’t turn out the way you want them to.
7. Ask yourself if there is a compromise; that is, a way to please yourself and others without compromising your values.