Dildos 101: A Beginner’s Guide to Choosing a Dildo | Sex

When it comes to finding the right sex toy for you, people sometimes struggle with asking too many questions. Either they want to order it online and be completely discreet, or they want to be in and out of a sex shop as quickly as possible.

But if you’re shopping for a dildo, there are so many options available that, with or without guidance, it’s completely natural to feel really overwhelmed. Especially if you’ve never done it before, there are so many different choices out there, and some of them can seem downright terrifying. Some look like a prop from a sci-fi movie, and others are just, for lack of a better term, so huge they look like they could rip you in half. Don’t worry, you don’t have to buy them. And there are plenty of options that are a lot less scary for a beginner.

So if you’re looking for a dildo, how do you know which one is right for you? While there may seem to be endless options, it all comes down to a few key considerations.

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Here’s what you need to think about when buying your first dildo:

1. Size, shape and material

Dildos can vary greatly. But the main variations you’ll find come down to their size, shape, and the material they’re made of. Once you understand these things, it’s actually a lot easier to figure out what you want. Size is probably the easiest thing to consider: choose a size that’s comfortable and stimulating, without being too big. If you’re nervous, it’s perfectly okay to start with a dildo that’s much thinner, or even much smaller, than the average penis. You can always move up a size later.

When it comes to shape and material, there’s more room to play around. Some are curved and specifically designed to hit your G-spot, so that can be a fun option for exploration. Or you might want one that’s just straight up and down and traditional, which works too. Many women end up having more than one, so just start with whatever feels easiest to you. Materials can range from glass, silicone, metal, or even quartz. Some of them are super realistic—they look like a penis, with veins and all. Others have a more luxurious or natural feel, so just find what you like. You’re the one who’s going to have it inside you, after all. So go to a store and feel them for yourself or pay attention to online reviews.

2. What do you use it for?

Another important thing to consider is what you’re going to use it for. If it’s just for masturbation, you might want something different than if you plan on using it with someone else. For example, if you’re going to use it with a partner, you’ll probably want one that’s harness-compatible or double-ended. Some dildos come with a harness, so if you’re looking for a strap-on, that’ll do the trick. And for double-ended options, most of them will be long and flexible with two heads, but there are some more interesting options, like the Silicone Double Dildo , which is double-headed, ribbed, and waterproof—talk about multitasking.

But don’t worry if this all sounds a little scary: you can really use any dildo with a partner to start with, so you can get a basic option for masturbation and it will still work if you decide to play with a partner.

3. Have fun with it

The most important thing to remember is that dildos are meant to be fun. Their job is to give you pleasure, so don’t be afraid to play with them. Even if something seems ridiculous, it can be enjoyable: nothing is off limits. Some vibrate, some are bejeweled, some are funny, some cost more than the price of your car. Don’t be afraid to let loose a little and go for an option that actually exists. As long as it feels good and makes you smile, then it’s doing its job.

Choosing a dildo can be completely confusing if you’re not used to it, but there are really only a few key considerations that really matter. And, more than anything, you want it to be something that makes you happy and feels good. The rest is just details.

Image source: Matt Crump