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Confessions of a Wanker: Part Four(play)

Confessions of a Wanker: Part Four(play)

It’s that time of year again. We’ve asked our customers to submit their best, horny masturbation confessions for everyone’s enjoyment. Don’t worry, they’re completely anonymous! Read on to hear what you weird wankers have been up to…

Long Distance Lovers

“When a boyfriend and I were long-distance, I used to ask him to send me the porn he liked to watch. I liked to see what he was getting off to because I found it a turn-on to know what he was watching. I wanted us to get involved with Beducated, too, when I returned to the country. However, the relationship didn’t last. I’d take a similar approach with future partners, though, if they were up for it.”

Sharing is caring. This includes porn search histories

Keep the Noise Down!

“This is major embarrassing! I was home from uni and thought I had the house to myself. So, I put on some porn and got my 11-inch friend out for some fun. I was close to finishing and had not been quiet when there was a knock on the door… My mum was telling me to keep the noise down. I nearly died!”

Always check that you’re actually alone before getting freaky.

Fap-cidents Happen!

“I don’t know how it happened… but somehow cut my clit on my vibrator.”

This is why you don’t buy cheap toys! Buy quality from Bondara

Down Where It’s Wetter

“I love the idea of masturbating on camera, squirting and being forced to lick it up from the floor.”

I’m not sure this is what a thirst tweet means…

Is Anybody in There?

“I almost lost my favourite dildo inside myself…”

Say it with me, people… If it doesn’t have a flared base, it shouldn’t go inside you!

Get Down with the Sickness

“I had to pretend to be sick and stay in my room ’cause I had a sex toy inside me. My roommate came home early… I don’t think she brought it!”

Those were moans of pain… because you were sick, right?

Under Pressure

“I used to wank with a 2L bottle of Fanta.”

I’d like to this this was a mid-wank refreshment, but something tells me it wasn’t

Does Size Matter?

“Got caught by my ex’s mum as I was blowing my load in the bathroom. Later on, I overheard her and my ex-girlfriend talking about my size.”

What’s that saying about a man’s 12 inches?

Turn Around

“I have to turn all the framed photos of my family around. It feels weird to see them when I’m jerking off… almost like they’re watching me!”

I always feel like somebody’s watchin’ me… And I have no privacy

A Reminder for Everyone

“I was having a cheeky wank, and it was amazing! But, right as I had almost cum… My toy died just before I hit the big O.”

It’s happened to all of us at some point… Never forget to charge your vibrator!

Confessions of a Wanker: Part Four(play) 3

Now you’ve read the best masturbation confessions of this year, why don’t you submit some more below? Or read our previous instalments in the sex confessions tag! Check out our Twitter and Instagram for more saucy stories and sex tips.

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