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Common Sex Therapy Questions: Insight From a Minnesota Sex

Picture of a couple in sex therapy in Plymouth, MN with a skilled Minnesota sex therapist in the Minneapolis, MN area.


As a sex therapist, I get to hear a lot of questions that people are often afraid to ask. When it comes to sex, there’s this cultural myth that we’re just supposed to know everything already, and if you need to learn anything about sex, you’ve already failed. When you pair this with the cultural taboo of talking about sex and the abysmal state of sex education, you end up with a lot of unanswered questions and misinformation. Today we’ll look at some common questions and their answers.

How can I be good at sex?

This is one that everyone wants to know and many people have written entire books on, but let’s look at some simple tips to improve your sex game. When it comes to sexual skill there are two major components, physical and mental. Great sex absolutely requires technical skill, but this can be very hard to learn. Sex-Ed in high school certainly isn’t teaching you cunnilingus techniques. On this front there are many good books that go into detail on the technical aspect of sex, I’ll list some at the end of the blog. Even the technical side of things isn’t this simple, however. Each person is different in their physical body and preferences, so the simplest thing you can do to be good at sex is ask your partner what feels good for them and do that. When you combine general technical skill with your partner’s personal preferences you’re well on your way to great sex.

The other half of great sex is your mental game.

Can a vibrator break my clit?

Picture of an upset couple in sex therapy in Plymouth, MN with a skilled Minnesota sex therapist in the Minneapolis, MN area.

I’ve been faking orgasms with my partner, is that bad?

Is it ok to masturbate if I have a regular sexual partner?

I’m in a heterosexual relationship and my boyfriend asked me to peg him, is he gay?

Books for Reference:

She Comes First – Dr. Ian Kerner
Great Sex – Michael Castleman
Come As You Are – Dr. Emily Nagoski

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