Buying My First Sex Toy (and Some Tips for Beginners) | Sex

I remember the first time I got my ID in 2010. I was eighteen and the only reason I got it was so my now husband, A, and I could buy sex toys. my first vibratorthe Mini Pearlessence, from a dingy brick-and-mortar sex shop. Being 18-year-olds, A and I hadn’t tried any sex toys at the time and were eager to explore something new. The sex shop smelled musty, like an old warehouse, and there were a few other customers loitering around. The cashier looked bored out of her mind and barely acknowledged us after briefly checking our IDs.

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What am I buying? first sex toy was like

A and I tried to stick to the walls and avoid eye contact with others, we found our way to a wall with hundreds of stakes presenting us with more sex toys than we thought existed. I was completely and utterly overwhelmed by the variety, while A’s excitement was oozing out of every pore. There were so many shapes and sizes, most of the sizes terrified me and the different shapes baffled me. We only had $20 to spend and I hadn’t even watched much porn at that point, so we focused on the phallic, the small, and the basic.

Aside from the porn A had watched on her own, we hadn’t done any research on sex toys. I was wary of how the vibrations would feel on my already sensitive clit. With no idea how to use it or how to make myself feel good, we only used it a few times before we got tired of it. It sat tucked away in my nightstand and we forgot about it for years.

My first orgasm

One night in 2012, while A was at work, I was desperate to find ways to rekindle our sex life. As is the way with long-term relationships, ours had stalled and I had absolutely no desire for sex. I had come across a website selling sex toys and a few people had suggested some. Remembering the Mini Pearlessence, I pulled it out of my bedside table and tried it again. I hated the way it buzzed inside me and its simple shape provided no G-spot stimulation, so I pushed it around my vulva until it felt good.

It took me a few minutes to find a position I liked and I pushed the small vibrator into my lips. The pressure allowed the vibrations to travel through my body better and not be as buzzy, which I found more enjoyable. Remembering the complaint I had made him stop playing with me when the sensation became too much, I persevered, hoping that it wouldn’t continue to be uncomfortable.

For the first time in my life, I had a real orgasm. With my first orgasm, I had my first experience with squirt. Since I was still not interested in porn, I literally had no idea what I had done. I immediately jumped up, confused and upset. The only conclusion I could come to was that I had peed. I started cleaning and crying, not understanding what had happened. I tried to do something to get my sex life back on track and instead I made a huge mess.

When A got home, I was still cleaning up and in tears. I told him what I had done and, to my confusion, his face lit up. “Baby, that wasn’t pee, you squirted!” What? His excitement only added to my confusion, but he explained to me what was nothing to be ashamed of, that it was really hot. I had to do some research on my own to get over the shame, but I was soon excited to not only know how to have an orgasm (and how good it felt), but to be a squirter!

My advice

We used the Mini Pearlessence for a few more months after that, but the basic shape and vibration of the dial quickly became annoying. I went back to the forum and looked for advice on better toys. If you’re trying to find your first toy, you’ll probably be drawn to something simple like I was. Personally, I wouldn’t recommend the Mini Pearlessence. There are a ton of better toys out there, like the Aurora here on BboutiqueGeneral advice: Choose non-porous and body-safe materials (medical grade silicone, glass, metal, etc.).

I have been recommending the Aurora to anyone looking for their first sex toy since I won it in Bellesa’s winter giveaway. It’s an incredible introduction to the world of mind-blowing orgasms. It has a slight curve that stimulates the G-spot and provides better vibrations than any sex toy I’ve come across that is marketed to “beginners.” Plus… it’s USB rechargeable. Say goodbye to batteries. Don’t deprive yourself of an awesome orgasm by buying something cheap. Save up and buy something that will last a while and is versatile… and waterproof. Thank me later.