“Bird shuttle” is a new custody trend for divorce from parents

Who said you can’t build a nest either, and keep it?

A divorced couple in Washington State has been all the rage for their unconventional (surprisingly harmonious) custody arrangements.

Devin Justine, 33, and Brendan Cleary decided to end the eight-year marriage of Justine’s second child, six months pregnant.

As heartbreaking as they were, they agreed with one thing: kids should be the first.

“I came to Brendan and I said, ‘I hate you now, but we need to put our heads together and think outside the box how we will do this for the kids,” Justin told com Today. Cleary is “100% on board.”

Their solution? Let the kids stay at home while the parents spin in and out-like birds returning to the nest.

When firefighter Cleary is on duty or New York, he sleeps at the station. Justin is with her parents.

They are currently building a garage apartment so they can continue to use the same property in turn – no suitcases or round-trip reorganizations for the kids.

“I’m a product of divorce. I’ve lived in a suitcase all my life and we can’t ask our kids to do the same thing,” Justin said. “The kids want to sleep in the same bed every night.”

The nesting method may not be new, but it is gaining the attraction of shared parents who hope to limit the emotional whipping of children after divorce.

“The kids had little distraction. They were not affected. [environmentally] Sherri Sharma, a partner at Manhattan marriage law firm Aronson, Mayefsky & Sloan, LLP, told NBC News.

She noted that many nesting parents share a small off-site apartment, exchanged between marriage homes. But this is not a problem that will always be solved, professionals warn.

“I’ve never seen ‘necking’ forever staying there,” Sharma said. “Months are OK, but over longer (over six months), I don’t think it’s confusion or anxiety to know that the real uncertainty of owning a separate house can cause -[inducing] For children. ”

Dr. Fran Walfish, a psychotherapist at Beverly Hills and author of self-aware parents, agreed to successfully limit the successful nesting phase to a maximum of three months within three months.

“Due to the short transition period, the environment of children remains unchanged, the only change is the existence of one parent or another,” Walfish told the media.

He added that “never again” is risky: Give your child an inaccurate information [the parents] Reconciliation is underway. ”

Licensed mental health clinician Celeste Viciere believes the value of nesting – to a point.

Vicere also told the site: “It can be beneficial to have kids live in the same familiar house because it is easier to stay in the same school and stay the same group of friends.”

She continued: “Another benefit of building a nest is that children don’t have to drag their belongings back and forth in two places.”

But she also warns of an emotional trap: “Children may struggle with having amazing family memories in the house, but can no longer share them. This can also lead to a false sense of reality that makes them want their parents to get together.”

Former family lawyer turn therapist Shelley A. Senterfitt told the network that shared living arrangements can lead to resentment towards everyday things—for example, a parent is there without having to change household items.

She notes that, some short-term nesting settings do work.

“The only situation I know when parents do nesting work is in very limited time jobs… The parents’ divorce is very friendly,” she said.

Despite the risks, Justin and Cleary said they are making it work through open communication and strong boundaries.

“We don’t have that one [respect] Justin said to today.

Experts agree: However, parents choose to split and they should always put their children first.

“Whatever your choice to divorce, it is crucial to be aware of the potential impact on your child,” Viciere said.

“Kids tend to already have an idea about what is going on… have them ask questions and have a conversation about how they feel about what is going on.”