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Avoid Friction in Marriage by Understanding Each Other’s


One of the things we took to the family reunion forth of July event on Saturday was crab salad. (Yum!) I didn’t get it done Friday night, so I was going to have to do it Saturday. We were unsure what time we were leaving because we were riding with my son.


As I was finishing my coffee Saturday morning, my wife started to chop veggies for the salad, asking how much was needed of various things. She never said a word about me needing to get my butt in gear, but I certainly could have taken it that way.

She would likely tell you I put things off till the last minute (which is not wrong) and she was concerned we would be late. That’s her perspective, and it’s valid.

I’d tell you I recall we have never left before 10 AM, and usually well after. That meant I had plenty of time. That’s my perspective, and it’s also valid.

Rather than nagging me, which I don’t respond well to, Lori just jumped in and helped. A very mature choice. In the past I’d have been irritated by that, but I’ve grown. Here’s the thing, it bothered her that it was not done, and that’s because of how God made her. Me being upset with her for how God made her is stupid. 

I understand this about my wife, and I was actually about to get up and start on the salad, even though on my own I would have waited longer. I wish I’d judged her discomfort better so I could’ve beat her to it. But we both dealt with it in a mature, intelligent way, and it didn’t cause any friction between us.

There’s nothing wrong with how God made you or your wife. But there will be places where how you’re made rubs how she was made. You can avoid problems and make your marriage run more smoothly by thinking about where these conflicts occur, and being proactive.

Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with
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