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Blindfolds, Masks & Gags
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Ticklers, Paddles & Whips
Asexual is the adjectival form of asexuality, a sexual orientation characterized by a lack of sexual attraction.
The opposite of asexuality is allosexuality, which is the tendency to experience sexual attraction, sexual desire, or a desire to engage in sexual activity and relationships. People of any gender can be asexual.
The Asexual Spectrum
Asexuality is considered to be part of the asexual spectrum. People on the asexual spectrum (also called “asexual individuals” or simply “asexuals”) experience little or no sexual attraction to others, or have little or no desire to engage in sexual activity.
The ace spectrum is an umbrella term that encompasses a broader category of identities that identify more strongly with the asexual end of the broad spectrum of sexuality than with the sexual (or queer) end.
Other notable identities and microlabels under the asexual spectrum umbrella include:
– Demisexual: An individual who experiences sexual attraction to another person only after developing a strong emotional bond with that person.
– Grey-asexual or greysexual: an individual who occasionally, though rarely, experiences sexual attraction, possibly only under certain conditions. He may or may not feel the desire to act on it depending on this attraction.
– Reciprosexual (or Reciprocal): An individual who only feels sexual attraction to someone after realizing that he or she already feels sexual attraction to that person.
– Fraysexual: An individual who may feel sexual attraction to someone they have just met, but this attraction may fade or disappear as they get to know the person.
– Cupiosexual: An individual who does not feel sexual attraction but desires a sexual relationship.
– Akoisexual: An individual who can experience sexual attraction until it is reciprocated, at which point the attraction may fade or disappear.
– Placiosexual: An individual who desires to perform sexual acts on someone without receiving sexual attention or stimulation.
– Aceflux: When sexuality fluctuates between asexual and allosexual
– Apothisexual: An individual who does not experience sexual attraction and is repulsed by sex.
Asexuality is a valid sexual orientation, not a sexual dysfunction
Asexuality is not abstinence, celibacy, genophobia (a pathological fear of sex), or a temporary lack of interest in sex due to any number of extenuating life circumstances. It is not a sexual dysfunction or mental disorder either..
Until recently, any lack of desire or strong aversion to sex was considered a mental disorder or a symptom of a mental disorder. This has since been rectified in the fifth and latest edition of the American Psychologist’s Association’s manual, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), which notes that “If a lifelong lack of sexual desire is best explained by a person’s self-identification as ‘asexual,’ then a diagnosis of [Sexual Interest/Arousal Disorder] would not be done.
Asexuality and romantic relationships
Asexual people may lack sexual attraction or desire, but this does not prevent them from desiring and forming close, intimate, and/or romantic relationships. Asexuality does not make a person devoid of emotional needs or desire for interpersonal connection. Unless they are also a romantic (as in the case of an asexual individual; that is, someone who does not experience romantic or sexual attraction) asexual people may desire and seek romantic relationships.
Sexual orientation and romantic orientation are often confused because they can overlap. However, they are two very different terms and concepts. Sexual orientation refers to the sex or gender of the person toward whom one is likely to feel sexual attraction or desire. Romantic orientation refers to the sex or gender of the person toward whom one is most likely to feel romantic attraction, develop feelings of romantic love, or want to pursue a romantic relationship.
Individuals with AS may engage in physically intimate behaviors such as holding hands, kissing, and cuddling, or not. They may engage in sexual activity out of curiosity or because the specific circumstances in which they may experience sexual attraction or desire are met. It all depends on their individual attitudes and preferences about sex.
Asexual orientation and sexual behavior
Although a person’s sexual orientation can influence their sexual behaviors, sexual orientation and sexual behavior are not the same thing.
Asexuality is distinct from any conscious and deliberate choice of sexual abstention or celibacy. In comparison, not all asexual people are sexual repulsion and can voluntarily and consensually engage in sexual activity such as masturbation or with a romantic partner under certain conditions.
Everyone’s attitudes and behaviors toward sex vary from person to person, regardless of sexual orientation. An asexual identity alone cannot accurately reveal how a person feels about sex. Therefore, other descriptors can be used to express these attitudes.
– Sexual repulsion: Describes a person who is disgusted by the idea of having sex or being exposed to sexual content or situations. This can manifest itself in strong, visceral reactions.
– Sexual aversion: Describes a person who does not want to have sex. They may not be disgusted by the idea of sex.
– Indifferent to sex: describes a person who is not particularly averse to sexual intercourse, but nevertheless finds it personally satisfying. They may feel comfortable with a sexual partner, but are not motivated to seek them out on their own.
– Favorable to sex: describes a person who enjoys sex under certain conditions. Some sex-friendly people quite enjoy sex under these particular conditions and may even seek it out on their own. For example, this might happen when a demisexual a person forms a relationship with someone that facilitates a strong sexual attraction and desire to engage with them.
Asexual Pride Flag and Important Dates
The asexual pride flag used today was voted on by the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN), known as the largest resource for asexual and aromantic people. The flag features horizontal stripes running from top to bottom in black, gray, white, and purple. The black represents asexuals, the gray represents demisexuality and grissexuality, the white stripe symbolizes queer partners and allies, and the purple represents space for the entire community.
Aces weekFormerly known as Asexuality Awareness Week, it has been held annually since 2010 and takes place during the last week of October. International Asexuality Dayco-founded by activist Yasmin Benoit, is celebrated on April 6.
