A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step

Scott Brassart

An African bull elephant eats 660 pounds of food every day. He does it the same way you and I eat food: one bite at a time. Because there is no other way to solve this problem. An elephant needs nutrition to survive, so he must do this. For him, it was life or death. But he can’t stuff 660 pounds of plants into his mouth and swallow them all in one go. That won’t work. So he grabbed a mouthful of food, put it in his mouth, chewed it, and swallowed it. And then he did it again. Again and again until he is full.

Recovering addicts, especially those just beginning the recovery process, can learn a lot from this example. When we first enter recovery, we are (usually) very motivated to get well, and we want to achieve that goal right away. If we can’t find a way to fully recover today, we hope to have it done by noon tomorrow at the latest. But that’s not how recovery works. It took us years to sink into the depths of addiction, and it will likely take just as long to recover.

The simple truth is, we won’t get better all at once. Instead, we must achieve success step by step. Two steps forward, one step back. So instead of looking at where we are now—highly motivated in recovery and healing—and expecting to suddenly and magically reach our goals of sobriety and health, we should slow down, take a deep breath, and take the next right step. then we have to take Next The next right step. Step by step, until we look back and we’ve made some significant progress.

Basically, we have to learn to restore the way elephants eat.

This is true for every major goal or milestone in life. We aim for something that currently seems impossible, like running a marathon, or learning to speak after a devastating stroke, or becoming a doctor, or staying sober and living a happy life after years of addiction, and then we get there the only way we can: incrementally, one step at a time.

As the Taoist philosopher Lao Tzu said: “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

For me, understanding the necessity of living one moment, one step at a time, one breath at a time is the key to achieving any goal. For example, I have written (often ghostwritten) more than 40 books. Every time I start a new book project, I feel overwhelmed and borderline frustrated because the project seems too big to handle. So, to keep my sanity, I broke the project down into a hundred or so small chunks. Then I started chewing, one small bite at a time, like a bull elephant eating his lunch. Before I knew it, I had finished another book.

Another thing I need to understand and accept about myself and my ability to be productive in all aspects of my life is that my motivation levels change from day to day. Sometimes I wake up and can’t wait to get started. Other days, I’d rather not get out of bed. On days when I’m low on energy, I’ve learned to set my own small goals, little by little. I tell myself I’ll just write a few paragraphs so I can feel like I’ve accomplished something. This does happen sometimes. But other times I find that once I get started, I get into the zone and end up having a very productive day.

I view my recovery the same way. I think of this as a marathon, not a sprint. Recovery is about putting one foot in front of the other, over and over again, no matter what. I’ve found that this “eat like a bull” strategy works in all aspects of my life—not just my writing and recovery. These days, when I set a big goal, I realize I can’t just hope to magically achieve it. Instead, I need to take the right steps one step at a time until I finally achieve my goals.

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If you or someone you care about is struggling with sex, porn, or substance/sex addiction, help is available. Seeking Integrity provides inpatient treatment for people with sex, pornography, and substance/sex addictions, as well as low-cost online work groups. Meanwhile, SexandRelationshipHealing.com offers a variety of free webinars and drop-in discussion groups, podcasts, and more.

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