My Ultimate Sex Nerd Reading List – Girly Juice

You might expect a long-time sex toy reviewer to always be asked about her favorite toys – and I do! – but surprisingly, I’m also often asked what books I recommend. I’ve been a devout sex nerd my entire life, and these are the books I recommend to people the most – at least so far! Life is long and there are always more books to swallow

Sex Advice/Tricks

• Come with you Emily Nagoski’s work is an absolute classic among the sex nerd canon. If you’ve ever struggled to understand your sexual desire (or lack thereof), or if your relationship is suffering from a sexual desire mismatch, read this book. This is the original text for many of the concepts I keep referring to, such as “reactive desire” vs. “spontaneous desire” and “sexual brakes” vs. “sexual accelerators.”
• Nagorski’s new book come together Also great, and goes into more detail about science-backed ways to keep the sexual spark alive in long-term relationships.
• Girl Sex 101 Allison Moon’s book is a delightful guide to having sex with women (cis and trans) for anyone planning to do so. It may also help you better understand your body/sexuality if you yes a woman.
• sexting Sexting by Tina Horn is truly a wonderful guide to sexting, but also offers great advice for anyone who wants to become a better sexual communicator.
• become a literate person Dr. Laurie Mintz gives a great introduction to the orgasm gap and the importance of clitoral stimulation.
• she comes first The Cunnilingus Guide by Ian Kerner is generally considered to be the best.
• juice Stephanie Haerdle’s book is the best book on the history and politics of squirting, and Female ejaculation and the G-spot Deborah Sundar’s work is the best instructive Books about squirting.

Dating, flirting and hooking up

• get it The Guide to Casual Sex by Allison Moon covers a wide range of tips, from bringing up the STI test conversation to asking what you want in bed to ending things gracefully when you find yourself having feelings for a FWB. It’s nice to see a book that focuses more on the emotional/psychological aspects of sex rather than the physical aspects.
• Offline dating methods This book by Camille Virginia is a cute and funny (albeit quite heterosexual) guide to meeting potential partners in real life while you’re out and about, and starting and maintaining conversations with strangers.

love and relationships

• captive mating “The Couples Therapist’s Guide” by Esther Perel provides couples therapists with a guide to maintaining a good balance between safety and risk-taking in a relationship, which Perel convincingly believes is the key to maintaining a strong libido over the long term. Another book by Perel situation This is a great book if you want to understand (and preferably avoid) infidelity in a monogamous or non-monogamous relationship.
• Love in a fucked up world Relationships by Dean Spade is a great book about relationships in general—romantic, platonic, family, and collective. This is an especially good read for leftists who clash with other leftists on interpersonal issues and would rather refocus on what matters most: love, connection, compassion, and liberation.
• why do we love each other An informative read on the psychology of romantic love by Helen Fisher. I have some issues with it (mainly, it’s very single-normative and uses flimsy evidence to support some of its points), but it’s a good primer on how romantic love works in the brain.
• monster under bed Author: JoEllen Notte is amazing The Book About Sex and Depression – It covers how to keep your sex life strong despite the challenges of depression, how to adapt to the libido-suppressing effects of certain antidepressants, how to feel more compassion for yourself, and more.

Polygamy and non-monogamy

• How safe and dovis There are two polyamory books by Jessica Fern that I recommend most often. They focus on finding emotional safety in polyamorous relationships and provide actionable strategies for individuals, couples, and groups to build more resilience and trust in their relationships.
• Build an open relationship Dr. Liz Powell’s books cover some more advanced non-monogamy topics, such as how to de-escalate a relationship, or how to deal with grief in a polyamorous relationship.

LGBTQIA+ identities and issues

• 200 words to help you talk about sex and gender is a book I wrote that defines 200 words in the gender lexicon.
• My new gender workbook I always recommend Kate Bornstein’s books to people who are like “I think I might be trans and/or non-binary – now what?!” It will help you gain a deeper understanding of your gender and decide what to do with that information.
• The tragedy of heterosexuality Jane Ward has produced a fascinating study of how straightness as a construct can be quite damaging, especially to straight people themselves. Definitely one of the books that impressed me the most after reading it.
• master Asexuality by Angela Chen is a great book about asexuality: what it means, why it’s so misunderstood, how ace people can better connect with their identities and communities, and more.

Kinks and BDSM

sex toys

philosophy, politics and culture

stupid stuff

What books can you talk about? your A must-read list for sex nerds?

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