Mental health awareness is not enough

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I am NOX and I suffer from psychological non-epileptic seizures. In short, when I felt stressed, I grabbed it. It is believed that the solution is to find a stress-free approach. But it’s never been that simple.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month and I feel it is necessary to write my story because I think if I had more mental health awareness when I was young, I would be better at coping as an adult now.

My seizures felt like a tangible manifestation of “mental health is physical health.” When I am in a bad mood, I have a physical reaction: Grab it. When I feel physically uncomfortable, it is usually due to my chronic pain, which affects my mental performance. After a seizure, I often have painful seizures, which can affect my mental health. I live in a cycle of endless pain, anxiety, grasping, repetition. As a person with mental disorders (PTSD, ADHD, ASD, OCD, GAD, BPD, MDD, etc.) and unknown autoimmune, rheology and neurological conditions, my seizures are angry and constant. I don’t remember the last week when I didn’t have a seizure.

My History of Health-related Struggle

They started in 2021. I paniced while trying to park my car (driving caused intense anxiety). I managed to put the car in the park before I was absent. Two days later, I had a seizure on my 22nd birthday. I went to the hospital and posted an episode in front of a nurse who bluntly said “It’s not a seizure” and brought me a big bill and medication for UTI. For nearly four years, I shrugged, even though these plots became more frequent, admittedly, more dangerous. After leaving Los Angeles, I stopped driving and it was the last time I had a seizure on the bridge behind the steering wheel.

I’ve always been a very anxious person. I’ve always had the mood to go all out and I don’t know what to do. I have countless teachers recommending treatment to me, and once when they recommend it to their parents, they say, “If my daughter has any problems, she may bring me questions about them.” But I feel like I can’t do it. So the emotions didn’t help but were eaten from within. Until they start to explode uncontrollably.

I committed suicide for the first time when I was 18 years old. I told my church group that I was worried that I would try to make a living. They didn’t respond. not give a damn about. Contact me only because I promise that summer I will help vacation Bible school. My attempt was two days after the end of VBS.

My attempt led my father to answer, “I won’t feel bad for your stupid thoughts”, as well as the journey of ingui because “this is how much you love your family.” It was finally decided that I could see a therapist for six weeks, one that provided me with a diagnosis of ADHD, anxiety and depression, and without any coping skills.

Not enough mental health awareness

I don’t want people to think suicide is an option, let alone the only help. I don’t want people to wait until their anxiety bursts out in the form of seizures, breakdowns, flashbacks, panic attacks or screaming at their families because they don’t know why, but, oh my god, they can’t stop it and loved ones can’t help. I don’t want people to be told they are “taking hostages for everyone” because they are caught in class, they are “responsible” to the children at work, or being asked if they are called up by police who were called after an episode.

I don’t want to be mentally healthy. I want to act.

I want people to fight for Medicaid and universal health care. I use Medicaid. If I don’t do this, I will never get any help with my seizure, let alone other conditions I’m currently receiving treatment. It provides me with transportation for dates, mental health services like my therapists and social workers, as well as my doctor appointments and medications. After the seizure, Medicaid may have saved my life, resulting in stroke-like symptoms. I want everyone to fight like hell to expand Medicaid, not cut it. Call senators and deputies to flood their offices with emails and tell them the importance of Medicaid.

I hope people seek help for themselves and their loved ones as soon as possible. As a black and Latin woman, I am part of both cultures for justifiable reasons. But that’s why I like groups like Black Girls’ Therapy because it provides people with the space they desperately need to get help.

I want the drug to be named. I only take three different anxiety medications and may need to use more at some point (I can take medications due to Medicaid). I got my medication when I was young, but the familial stigma caused me to refuse at first and then secretly take it later, which increased my anxiety.

I need to understand more deeply that it is all about my symptoms being inevitable, even if your symptoms are inevitable. I need us to do this to break through some of these cycles. I want to answer Break the cycle and The pain we bring For this purpose.

Most importantly, I need us to show up and love each other as much as possible. I don’t think the FBC community knows how much everything there means to me. You all stay with me through five moves, three states and years of seizures. Throughout my journey, my three constants were my family, the FBC and the library. The flexibility and understanding of me by other contributors is one of the things that keeps me moving forward. Staying in relationships can be so difficult when it feels like everything is breaking down and your body and brain are struggling with you. My flares resulted in late posts, missed events and a lot of confusion or delays, but everyone was kind and patient with me, and to me meant the world, more than I wanted to know.

The most important thing is to take good care of yourself. My grandma always says, “No one will take care of you like you.” Fight and advocate for yourself, take rest when needed, and do everything possible to help your mental health. You can see the therapist or take medication. Can take good care of yourself.

Happy Mental Health Awareness Month. Please do more. Actively strive for better mental health services for everyone. Fight for yourself, and for people like me, who sometimes have no combat power.