Understand the difference between sexual arousal and desire

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I want to talk about sexual arousal and desire. They are not the same thing, only one is guilty.

Imagine you are walking along a forest path. You turn a corner and see a coral snake on the road. The part of your brain that doesn’t reason releases adrenaline to prepare you for fight or flight. After a while, another part of your brain is thinking “Red and yellow kill a companion, red and black lack venom. Red and black touch so I’m safe.“

Now, imagine that instead of seeing a snake, you see a young woman wearing only hiking boots and smiling. Never mind why she’s there like that, just work with me. The part of your brain that doesn’t reason releases signals and chemicals that arouse you sexually, preparing you for sex. After a while, another part of your brain thinks: “Naked woman. Not my wife. Keep your eyes on the ground and get off the path so she can pass“.

Arousal is a function of the part of the brain that you have no control over. It happens immediately and you can’t stop it. Then your consciousness steps in. If you look away and don’t fantasize about running into the bushes with her after she’s out of sight, you’re not committing a crime. Not even if you leave with a partial erection. If you keep looking at her with your eyes or your thoughts, then you have desire and that is a sin.

I bring this up because some people feel like they are committing a crime when in fact they are not. If they view sexual arousal as a sin, then there’s something wrong with them because they can’t stop it. So they either feel guilty or decide that if they can’t stop it, they might as well enjoy it.

The arousal you get from seeing or hearing something sexual is something you have no control over. Do whatever you can to avoid these things, but don’t beat yourself up because your mind and body are working according to God’s design. Drawing boundaries in the right places makes it easier to avoid cravings.

Image credit: © Paul H Byerly created using stockdreams.ai
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