Essential Tools for Porn Addiction Recovery

Erin Snow

Unfortunately, for porn addicts, addiction triggers are inevitable, largely because sex has become so thoroughly integrated into our consumer culture. In today’s world, anyone, anywhere, can be sexually triggered at any time—driving past a sexy billboard, seeing someone showing too much skin at the grocery store, sitting in the stands at a child’s soccer game, Pick up something and read a magazine at a friend’s house, attend a neighborhood party, attend a work event, take the dog for a walk, watch a movie, exercise, sit at home and watch TV, drive through a specific neighborhood, etc. The number and variety are endless, and there’s really not much to do except learn how to recognize these triggers and implement healthier (non-addictive) coping mechanisms.

For this reason, it is important for porn addicts to have a recovery toolbox that they can use whenever they are triggered. In fact, utilizing healthy coping mechanisms (recovery tools) is the only consistently effective way to shorten the addiction cycle.

Some of the more helpful tools for recovering porn addicts include (but are not limited to) the following:

• Three second rule: Porn addicts have no control over the thoughts that go into their minds. What are they able Control is what they do with their thoughts after becoming aware of them. For example, after recognizing an unwanted, objectifying thought or sexual fantasy, they can give themselves up to three seconds to shake it off and focus on something else. Often, once they become aware of a triggering thought, they “hand it over” to their higher power, asking that the thought be eliminated. This process works and works well, even for addicts who struggle with the concept of God/a higher power. simple action do something (Anything) Getting rid of unwanted thoughts or fantasies almost always works.
• Twelve Step Sexual Recovery Meetings: To maintain long-term recovery, porn addicts need a place where they can talk openly and honestly about their addictive behaviors without fear of judgment. By far the most accessible safe (empathic, non-judgmental, and relatively private) venues are pre-, in-, and post-treatment, group therapy, addiction-focused workgroups, or 12-step recovery meetings . Simply put, One of the most powerful tools in the box is talking about addiction to people who understand it.
• Call another recovering addict: If an addict doesn’t have an addiction-focused meeting when they are triggered, they can turn to their therapy, work group, or 12-step group’s phone list and call anyone on it. When an addict needs immediate help, or when they simply need support and guidance from someone who “speaks their language,” having this handy list of phone numbers for supportive friends in recovery is crucial.
• Green circle behavior: round pan [hyperlink] Created for a variety of reasons – to help addicts understand the nature of their addiction, define their personal version of sexual sobriety, identify the “funny” areas they need to be wary of, and Provide them with guidance when they are triggered and unsure of what to do next. Many porn addicts carry a printed or digital version of their Circle Plan with them at all times. That way, when they feel triggered, they can look at the green circle and find a convenient list of healthy alternatives.
• stop: it’s an abbreviation Hhungry, onengri/oneanxiety, Lindividually, and time Any of these simple situations may make an addict more prone to acting out than usual. Let’s face it, even healthy, non-addicted people tend to engage in behaviors they may regret when their judgment is clouded by hunger, anger, anxiety, loneliness, or exhaustion. The trick here is for the addict to recognize and address these needs as they arise, rather than simply lumping them in with all the other forms of emotional discomfort they don’t want to experience (and have tried to avoid by using porn). Therefore, porn addicts must learn to stop and ask themselves: When was the last time I ate? Did I get enough sleep last night? Are there any conflicts in my life that need to be resolved? Would spending a few minutes talking to someone who understands me make me feel better? Often, a nap, a candy bar, or a five-minute phone conversation can go a long way in reducing the desire to relapse.
• Booking: Sometimes porn addicts get triggered unexpectedly. Other times, triggers can be discovered ahead of time. For example, for most porn addicts, being home alone all afternoon is an obvious trigger. Knowing this, addicts can call their therapist, 12-step sponsor, accountability partner, or other recovery supporter to book an event. During a “before” call, the addict commits to staying sober and discusses plans to avoid relapse. The “after” call provides an opportunity to discuss what happened, what feelings emerged, and what the addict may need to do differently next time.
• Practice gratitude: Porn addicts often use sexual fantasies and behaviors to numb themselves for so long that they forget how to experience emotions in a healthy way, especially uncomfortable emotions such as anxiety, depression, shame, fear, etc. Sometimes, especially early in the recovery process, porn addicts may become overwhelmed by these feelings and ignore what is going on in their lives. A great way to combat this “stinky thought” is to create a gratitude list. Writing a ten-item gratitude list will almost always counteract almost any trigger and stop the addictive cycle.

Obviously, the short list of tools listed above is not a complete tool kit. Journaling, work groups, written 12-step work, ongoing outreach to others in recovery, 12-step sponsorship (giving and receiving), reading recovery-related literature, changing old habits, developing healthy hobbies, prayer, meditation and “Thinking through” are just a few of hundreds of other tools that porn addicts can use to combat their addictive patterns.

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If you or a loved one is struggling with sex, porn, or substance/sex addiction, Seeking Integrity can help. In addition to residential rehab, we offer low-cost online workgroups for male sex addicts and male porn addicts new to recovery. Click here to learn about our Sex Addiction Task Force. Click here to learn about our Porn Addiction Task Force.