8 Ways to Improve Your Sex Life | Aldult Toys Blog

Contrary to what Hollywood would have us believe, great sex doesn’t just happen by magic. Whether you’re in a committed relationship or just seeing where it takes you with a given partner, the sparks don’t just stay lit over time. Often, it takes some effort.

Having a better sex life, at its core, means making efforts in many areas of life, from sexual health to self-confidence to intimate communication. The bonus, of course, is a better life in every way, not just in the bedroom.

If this all sounds great but you don’t know where to start, consider these 8 ways to improve your sex life.

1. Plan date nights

It’s not corny. The fact is, life is busy. And sometimes, even when you’re living with your love (or especially when you’re living with your love), you need to schedule quality time to keep things vibrant. Spontaneity and activities outside of the usual routine are at the heart of a passionate intimate relationship. Resolve to have a weekly date night where you and your love grab a meal, play pool, try a new hobby, or just aimlessly explore the streets. You might be surprised to learn how often a date night can magically lead to a good romance.

2. Explore uncharted territories

If you’ve always wanted something to happen between the sheets, it might be time to try something new. If you have unfulfilled (but unspoken) fantasies hovering over you, find a way to share them out loud. Candles, massage oil, bubble bath. And then there’s new positions, or role games You’ve never tried, or even places you’ve never touched! Maybe it’s time to masturbate in front of each other. Or, buy some good sex books to read together. Expand your openness to new things to other areas of your life, too: cook a new dish with your significant other, go dancing for the first time, or visit a new neighborhood in your city. New is usually exciting, so go for the goddess.

3. Introduce sex toys

Adding a vibrator to your arsenal can be a backup, a fallback, or a fun, different way to reach orgasm that doesn’t rely entirely on your partner’s hands, mouth, or dick. Just saying. Sex is a wonderful thing. Not to mention, men can reach new heights of pleasure with toys, too. Plus, there are only so many paths to orgasm, folks.

4. Make foreplay the destination (sometimes)

Whether you’re in a monogamous relationship or just testing the waters, foreplay This is key, babe. I’m not saying quickies don’t have their merits here and there, but research shows that while both men and women crave about 20 minutes of foreplay, most people only get half that. Not to mention, hot, intense pre-penetration (if, indeed, penetration is on the menu) can help men last longer (if your partner is a man) and keep you super horny. Laurence A. Levine, MD, a professor at Rush University Medical Center, suggests trying to hold off on penetration, especially until a woman is close to orgasm through foreplay alone. Ultimately, it comes down to letting go of the linear attachment many of us have to orgasm as our primary goal. Orgasms are the bomb, I know, but sometimes rushing toward one means losing pleasure along the way. Don’t lose the pleasure.

5. Show affection and appreciation (more)

Be generous with kisses, hugs, and affectionate touches, and see what effect it has. Showing affection in a variety of ways can make your partner in crime feel appreciated and valued…and wanted, of course. Maybe leave a little love note (it can be an affectionate note) And dirty if you want), or do the extra dishes, just to show your appreciation. Acts of kindness help to deepen intimacy, it’s true. Oh, and if public displays of affection are in your bag of tricks, maybe do them more often. Holding hands, kissing, hugging, and laughing in public can be really fun and sexy, and make life more enjoyable. both if you feel like a rare commodity (in a good way).

6. Be healthy

Do: overall health affects sexual healthIf you’re regularly “too tired to have sex,” you may need to do something to boost your energy. This could mean exercising more regularly (not to be confused with obsessing over your body’s imperfections), eating healthier, and getting enough sleep each night (8 hours, not 4). These few seemingly basic steps can make a world of difference when it comes to your libido. Plus, since many STIs are asymptomatic, for everyone’s sake, get tested regularly if you have more than one partner or are in a relationship but haven’t been tested recently. Last but not least, as mentioned in the “exercise” section, being healthy also means loving your body the way it is (it’s not easy, I know), because self-confidence is the ultimate aphrodisiac, and at its best, it’s contagious.

7. Communicate, communicate, communicate

Learn to understand what you want (huge (business) and learn to communicate it (an even bigger business). Whether you’re with someone new and need to discuss the importance of condoms, or you’re at the point where your likes and dislikes are up for discussion, don’t hesitate. The more honest, direct, and positive you are, the better sex you’ll have. Sometimes, even the most loving, trusting, and open among us feel shy when it comes to communicating about sex. The answer? Keep at it. Communicate what feels amazing, what hurts, what doesn’t feel right, what makes you cum, and what makes your partner tick. Your sex life will thank you profusely.

8. Turn off that damn TV

Better yet, cremate it. Okay, this may seem reckless, but at least opt ​​for not Having a TV in the bedroom. Unless you’re a special person with a will of steel, it can be an excessive distraction, an easy way to fall asleep without meaningful contact with the human being next to you. Resist it. Nothing kills sexual intimacy like television. Why not make your own movies instead (wink, wink)?

Bottom line: You and your partner(s) deserve a satisfying (and even glamorous) sex life. If you make it a priority, you might be surprised at how exciting and disturbing things can get.