8 Reasons Why Kissing Can Sometimes Be Hotter Than Sex | Sex

I love sex. Chances are you do too. But amidst all the hype surrounding this grandiose, (hopefully) life-changing act, especially in today’s world one night stands and fast connections, good old fashioned kissing (just for the sake of kissing) is often overlooked. While you can at least kiss before you have sex, I know many people ignore it, and that’s a shame, my friends. The goddess of foreplay and genuine excitement makes you cry. Whether you’re just getting to know someone or you’ve been together for years, here are 8 reasons why kissing can be even hotter than sex, so take note.

1. It evaluates chemistry

Have you ever heard Cher’s classic, “It’s in his kiss”? It’s an oldie but a goodie, and she was so right. What better way to gauge chemistry and attraction and make sure all the sparks are flying like they should be than to indulge in a little kissing and some good old-fashioned intense caressing? You can usually tell within seconds whether or not you have chemistry. And no one even has to get naked or wake up confused, disappointed, or late for work. Maybe I sound cynical, but on the contrary: I simply believe that slowing down can bring the best kind of clarity when it comes to your desires.

2. It makes you want to know more (in a good way)

It’s easier than you might think to spend an hour (or seven) kissing and teasing each other, fully clothed. There may be a bit of ceremony involved, but it’s an endurance sport, not a sprint. And it only gets stronger with its own heat. The crazy thing is, you can stop, start again full of desire, and then come back, supercharged. Kissing builds anticipation, stimulates your imagination, and awakens your libido and sense of arousal. So when sex finally happens, it’s even better. Some would say that kissing is a necessary preparation for mind-blowing sex. Whether that preparation begins hours, days, or even weeks before you actually cause said explosion, who’s to say?

3. It will make you feel young again

In our age of pop-up internet porn, instant gratification, and overexposure, there is something youthful, innocent, and exploratory about the simple act of kissing. Why not even get a little kinky and pretend you snuck out of your parents’ house at night or hid behind the school during recess? Why not get in touch with the novelty and excitement of the act as well as the person you’re kissing? They don’t have to be new to your life for it to work. Consider it a shock to your butterfly kingdom. Feel free to quote me on that.

4. It’s less commitment

When it comes to the first time, sleeping with someone often leads to either a) never seeing them again, or b) things getting progressively more serious. And while it’s true that either of those things can, of course, happen without sex, they usually do. With kissing, on the other hand, it can be easier to prolong that initial courtship period and light a stronger fire—or walk away with no future expectations (yours or theirs). Of course, only you know how far to go with any given person at any given time, place, or mood. So whatever you do, make sure you do what you want.

5. It’s safer

From a very practical (integral) logistical perspective, IST and even unwanted pregnancies are a thing. And while safety is a smart thing, we’re not always smart about lust, are we? While even at the best of times, a pregnancy or STI scare can get you into trouble, many a little bird has told me that it’s less complicated if you deal with it in cahoots with someone you share a real connection with, rather than alone, or with someone you wish you’d never met, or had a beer with, or gone to bed with on that cold winter night.

6. It’s slower and more sensual

Sex can be infinitely sensual (even tantric) act, but orgasms often end up serving as the finish line most of the time. While I’m of the opinion that even sex can be slowed down and enjoyed until the last gasp of pleasure, a good make-out session has no beginning or end, so you get all the steam without any pressure to finish – and who says you can’t cross the line? You’re free to relax and explore the sensations of giving and receiving.

7. You can do it in public

While some of you are undoubtedly exhibitionists by nature, the reality is that public sex can get you in trouble, even arrested. Not to mention, it can be embarrassing for those who aren’t looking to be seen and may just be following their partner around. Kissing, on the other hand, can be performed voraciously whenever and wherever you want. Sure, a few prudes who hate life and love might judge you for your shameless display of affection in public, but you won’t be fined or jailed, and you won’t be exposed to the harsh elements. Just saying.

8. It teaches patience and intimacy

Kissing can teach you to be patient and wait for the “right” time to have sex, if there is one. When you kiss someone, it can also give you more time to get to know each other better and create a more meaningful connection. And I think this can be accomplished whether the relationship is brand new or has been going on for years. You can always grow closer to someone or remind yourself how to better connect with them.

So, next time you and your significant other hit a lull in conversation, why not kiss instead? Sometimes you have to put one language aside for another, for real.

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