7 Ways to Stay Sane and Sexy in Quarantine with Your

There are more potential relationship problems that could arise from the global crisis now known as COVID-19 than there are stars in the sky. Okay, that may be an exaggeration, but it’s not SO far away. Whether you’re in quarantine or isolation, in full or partial lockdown, or any version of these situations, the possible manifestations in your sexual and/or romantic relationships are endless. While some people find themselves thrust into situations that place them in crowded homes with their children, partners, and even parents, others suddenly find themselves alone all day, every day, without so much as a goldfish to wake them up.

If you are In quarantine apart of your romantic and sexual partneryou may be wondering if absence actually makes the heart grow fonder (rather than just increasing your anxiety). And if you’re one of us who’s suddenly spending all day, every day, in close quarters with a partner we were already living with before all this, you may be starving (hungry?) for solo time, feeling sexually frustrated or out of sync, and/or losing your patience, to boot. All that said, you may actually be finding that your relationship has improved. Everyone is different, you know?

But it doesn’t take a genius to understand why a pandemic-level lockdown might negatively The effects of pornography impact mental health and sensuality. If this resonates with you, here are 7 ways to manage these effects.

1. Give thanks

First, take a moment to thank your cohabiting partner and for the fact that you can continue to share your life with them when so many other people in different arrangements are currently going through all sorts of separation-related trauma. Then, take a deep breath and remind yourself of all the things you love about your partner, why you decided to cohabit in the first place, and what turns you on about them. If you’re a list-taker, make a concrete list for each of these things.

2. Give and take time for yourself

Maybe you don’t need to bother scheduling time for yourself under normal circumstances. But these aren’t normal circumstances. Don’t take it personally if your partner needs space, and likewise, don’t feel bad about asking for space. Better yet, just have a loving discussion where you both decide to just take the space you need, regularly, whether for masturbateread, text your friends, get creative, etc. If possible, you might consider taking some solo time together at the same time. Your relationship (and your sex life!) will thank you. In quarantine, absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

3. Make a schedule

I don’t know exactly how it happened, but somewhere along the way, I became someone who thrives on ritual, routine, and a stable schedule. In a different way, so did my partner who lives with me. Normally, we would both wake up at the crack of dawn and he would go to work while I worked from home. We would both be done by 4 and then get together to relax, cook, have fun, etc. Now, I struggle to do a fraction of my original workload at home while my partner is completely off work and home all day. Like many other couples in isolation, we struggle to stick to any kind of schedule without the usual external factors: bosses, deadlines, etc. I highly suggest sitting down together and developing a flexible schedule to add some structure—include work time, alone time, and, hey, why not schedule in some date night or naughty time, too? Make it all count, I say.

4. Don’t underestimate the importance of quality time (read: sex)

Speaking of date night, just because you’re quarantining together doesn’t mean you’re spending quality time together. In fact, chances are you’re having a harder time doing so. If you’re one of those couples who live together but rarely see each other due to conflicting schedules, now’s the time to reconnect. And if you’re one of those couples who live together and spend a lot of time together but are finding the mandatory nature of being in lockdown a bit of a strain, now’s the time to catch up. Also It’s time to reconnect. You can play board games, make a list of projects to do together, exchange massages, redecorate your space, etc. Whatever you do, don’t leave sex out. This is a time to explore each other’s bodies more, have extended sessions, invent role-play scenarios, and act out kinky fantasies. Sex is one of the most powerful stress relievers, after all.

5. If you can, get some fresh air and exercise.

It’s no secret that fresh air and exercise are good for the body (and therefore the mind). If the specifics of your situation allow, take a daily walk, run, or bike ride (while social distancing, please). Research shows that spending time in nature can reduce anxiety and depression, so if you’re lucky enough to be near a green space, get some. Do it as a couple or separately, depending on your preferences. It will help you manage feelings of restlessness, irritability, and impatience, and make you a less reactive partner and a better lover. If you can’t get outside, you still have this: I’m talking balconies, open windows, YouTube yoga, exercise videos, jumping rope, etc.

6. Talk to other people

Even if you’re a Luddite at heart like me, calling, texting, or video chatting with friends and family regularly can be a key ingredient in maintaining your sanity and keeping your desire to spend time with your partner intact. Checking in with others and hearing how they’re doing can also put your own challenges into perspective and make you feel less alone in your situation or relationship. Other people can also be an important source of humor and wisdom. Make time for social calls when needed.

7. Make communication your goddess

Every healthy couple fights, that’s a fact. While communication is always a big part of relationships, it’s even more important when you’re still together. Even in the midst of arguments, try to be empathetic, kind, and patient. If your sexual urges are diverging during this time, know that this is completely normal in times of crisis and try to talk about it, with compassion. Recognize that your partner is facing their own mental health challenges, what with this global pandemic and all, just like you. Be the lovers you were meant to be in dangerous times by choosing love over panic whenever possible.

In conclusion

Love is sweet and sex is spicy. You deserve to be delicious. Even though times are tough, being in quarantine with a partner is an invaluable opportunity to grow, both as an individual and as a couple. If you’re with the right person, I’m confident you’ll come out of this with a deeper, more meaningful relationship, as well as a healthier sex life.

A love.