7 Early Signs of a Strong Relationship

Leo Tolstoy once said, “The key to a happy marriage is not whether you are compatible, but how you deal with your incompatibility.” Compatibility plays a vital role in strengthening the bond between partners at every stage of a relationship, not just in marriage. It makes sense that we place the same importance on compatibility as we do on that intoxicating feeling we all share from the beginning. To that end, we’ve compiled seven early signs of a highly compatible relationship that are essential in determining whether two people in love can build a stable, lasting relationship.

We’re not the only ones who say this. Studies have proven that compatibility is the key to long-term relationship success. Maybe that’s why every couple ponders the question “How compatible are we?” at some point. Well, the sooner you get the answer, the better. Right?

To find the answers and understand what to look for in a relationship to ensure compatibility, we worked with our expert counselor Dhriti Bhavsar (Masters in Psychology, specializing in Clinical Psychology), who works in relationships, pre-marital issues, LGBTQ issues, and breakups.

What is compatibility in relationships?

Everyone may understand compatibility in a relationship differently. For some, compatibility may refer to shared interests and goals. For others, compatibility may refer to similar likes and dislikes. Others may still attribute it to understanding and empathy. In fact, a study on compatibility showed that different couples have different views on stability, and it may actually be a combination of “super cooperation between partners,” “convenience,” and “constraints.”

While compatibility can mean different things to different people, there are certain criteria that determine how compatible two people are to be together. According to one study, adults look for 24 long-term compatibility dimensions when searching for a partner, which include intellectual compatibility, emotional compatibility, moral compatibility, and lifestyle compatibility.

Related reading: 15 Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship

Dhriti explains: “Compatibility in a relationship usually manifests itself in shared values, enjoying your partner’s company, and a sense of resonance with them – like they understand you and you understand them. This doesn’t necessarily mean you have to share common hobbies and interests. Being compatible with your partner means you have enough in common to get along with each other and solve problems together.”

She uses honesty as an example. Now, this trait is very important when it comes to resolving conflicts. When one party honestly shares how they feel about the conflict, the other party needs to provide a safe space for that honesty to occur. Some other such qualities include shared values, communication, and mutual respect. To get a clearer picture of whether you are compatible with your partner, you can take our relationship compatibility test:

7 Early Signs of a Strong Relationship

One Reddit user had a very interesting take on compatibility. They said, “Communication. Similar goals, morals, and sexual desires are important, but being able to discuss these things with your partner is just as important. Every couple has difficulties, arguments, and problems. The ones who stay together are the ones who work through problems together and make compromises to ensure both needs are met.”

Compatibility is more than just liking dogs or cats, or liking beaches or mountains. More importantly, when two people decide to be together, they need to look for something in their relationship compatibility that goes beyond flimsy or superficial signs.

Related reading: Are my fiancé and I sexually compatible?

And the sooner you figure out if you’re compatible, the easier it will be to decide if you’re in it for the long haul. Below, we’ve listed 7 early signs of a highly compatible relationship. So keep reading, then thank us:

1. Shared values

One of the early signs of a good relationship is that you share the same values. When an entire generation believes compatibility is determined by which Netflix series you both like, it may take a little more work to maintain a successful relationship. “Partners need to share values ​​about the big things in life,” Dhriti says. She lists some of these factors:

• Views on marriage
• Opinions on how to raise children
• Perception of what is most important in a relationship (commitment, trust, vulnerability, or compassion)

When 24-year-old writer Casey met 30-year-old travel influencer Damien on Instagram, she thought she had found her soulmate. But she soon discovered that while they both loved traveling and photography, Damien wanted to settle down with someone, while Casey wanted to explore the world and didn’t want to have kids anytime soon. This compatibility gap led to their breakup, though they remain friends today.

2. Mutual respect

Another extremely important sign among the 7 early signs of a highly compatible relationship is mutual respect. “Looking at your partner and their experiences positively, and not feeling the need to judge, doubt, or put them down, is a huge sign of compatibility,” Dhriti says. This means that even though you love sushi and your partner is a vegetarian, you don’t need to put them down or ridicule them for their choices. At the same time, you don’t need to constantly change your eating habits to accommodate theirs.

Related reading: The Importance of Respect in Relationships

3. Similar long-term goals

The best test of relationship compatibility is whether both spouses share the same long-term relationship and life goals. Similar life goals mean:

• Timeline for settling down and starting a family
• Priorities in life, i.e., whether you want to own a house or invest in a side business
• Would you two be willing to move to another city?

4. Trust, safety and a sense of being understood

Another of the 7 early signs of a highly compatible relationship is security. “There’s a lot of emotional security that comes with being with someone you’re compatible with,” Dhriti says. “You’ll also find yourself being less insecure and less anxious.”

Ray, a 35-year-old accountant in Texas, explains the feeling of harmony in a relationship. He says, “Even though we’ve only just started dating, I feel like my girlfriend and I are very compatible. And I don’t just mean her taste in music or food. Our life goals are very similar. She wants to open a cafe in the mountains, and I hate the busy life and want to live in nature. With her, I never feel the need to think, ‘How compatible are we?’ I’m sure everything will be fine.”

Related Reading: 8 Ways to Develop Emotional Security

5. Communicate effectively

Open communication is one of the early signs of a good relationship. In fact, one study called communication “the heart of a relationship.” “Communication is only effective when both parties feel heard and understood,” Dhriti says. So, what exactly is effective communication? Here are some examples:

• When conflicts and disagreements arise, you don’t blame or shame each other. You sit down together and work out solutions together.
• When you point out something you don’t like about your partner, you don’t resort to sarcasm or ridicule. You tell them in a mature way what’s bothering you, and vice versa.
• You ask questions to understand your partner’s perspective, and they will do the same. You don’t assume or judge

6. Make each other feel supported

What is compatibility in a relationship? It’s the feeling of being supported. Support comes in many forms in a relationship. It’s not just the support your partner gives you when you’re feeling down. Support can become a daily habit, just to let them know you respect their choices.

“Healthy and compatible couples tend to be each other’s biggest cheerleaders, even if they may not share common interests,” Dhriti says. “If you and your partner are compatible, you don’t have to like everything they like, but you also understand when they’re excited about something and share their excitement.” Here are some examples:

• Your partner is very excited about a football game. You have no interest in football, but you end up going to the game with him anyway.
• You are a fitness freak who goes to the gym every morning. Your partner is not too keen on fitness but reminds you to drink protein shakes and eat pre-workout meals.
• Your partner is a professional dancer and you are a data scientist. You make sure to ask each other about their profession, just to get to know each other. This shows both curiosity and support.

7. You accept each other

The biggest test of compatibility is whether you and your partner accept each other. Now, acceptance doesn’t mean that you will eventually ignore each other’s shortcomings or encourage each other to work on correcting them.

Dhriti explains: “Acceptance in love means that you don’t feel the need to change everything about your partner. Sure, they may have some annoying traits, but you still love them the same.”

Janice, a 40-year-old teacher, thinks her boyfriend’s style is too flashy. Whenever they go on a date, she wears pastel-colored clothes while he wears bright orange and neon green. This irritates her, but they are too in love and she doesn’t see the need to change his style. “Who am I to ask him to change his style? Would I like it if he asked me to wear neon colors? I don’t think so. It’s all about acceptance,” she wrote to us.

Infographic on things to look out for in a relationship

Now that you know the 7 early signs of a highly compatible relationship, let us give you a breakdown of what to look for in a relationship to ensure it’s a healthy one.

Final Thoughts

Hopefully, our list of 7 early signs of a highly compatible relationship will help you decide if you should stay with your lover.

If you’re still asking yourself “How compatible are we?”, the best thing to do is to take a relationship compatibility test to make sure you’ve finally found the right person. After all, you should only invest your time and energy into things that have substance and long-term potential.

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